Give Me that Online Religion Round 1

Many of the regular visitors to Associated Content are well-aware that I'm skeptical of anything that must be accepted as a dogmatic truth (a theological term meaning "on blind faith alone"). My skepticism is therefore most acute when I am presented with any of a number of "answers," none of which will be supported by "hard" or "testable" data, to questions of a "religious" or "spiritual" nature.

In partial justification of my cynicism, and in defense of my Preteristic interpretation of eschatology, allow me to present the following case study.

A few weeks ago, while researching the topic of my previous posting "Long Odds on Jesus of Nazareth," I happened across an unnamed web site which announces:

WARNING:

Will The Rapture & Sudden Destruction take place at ANYTIME-Up to THE END of Rosh Hashanah, September 2010?

This dire warning of the "end of time" is followed by one of the worst examples of web page design to have emerged in cyberspace since the days of Netscape 1.0 and, probably, since Bill Gates was writing BASIC compilers. In addition to the abuse of the fundamental principles of typographic and background-color schemes, this site is so heavily laden with "legalese" and "weasel words" that its author is virtually guaranteed immunity from civil litigation upon the slim chance that someone would actually believe this nonsense and then attempt to sue whoever was responsible for publishing it on the Internet after each "prediction" failed to appear as advertised!

I ask that you consider the following "fulfillments," supposedly either completed or impending (and not necessarily in anything resembling exact order) of "Bible prophecy":

Jesus said that before his return that earthquakes, travel, and knowledge would increase ... these have been increasing at an exponential rate!

Drought is at an epidemic level, worldwide! Where there is drought, food shortages will soon follow ... Global food supply is near the breaking point and at the lowest level in 30 years! ... Experts are predicting food shortages by the spring of 2010.

Having missed the mark on these predictions, the site then informs the visitor that:

President Barack Obama has announced that there will be a peace treaty dividing up Jerusalem before the end of this year! The bible predicts that the ... tribulation period will begin in conjunction with the signing of a peace treaty with Israel.

Catastrophic nuclear attack on New York City, Phoenix, and possibly other major U.S. Cities ... Two massive USA earthquakes in FALL 2010! Russia and China invades (sic) the United States!

Experts are predicting a "complete global economic collapse starting by FALL 2010!"

Following each "prophecy" given on this unnamed site are numerous links to video clips that are hosted on everyone's favorite "Tool of Satan," You Tube. Although I am certainly aware that some readers will doubt my word, I assure you that each of these videos fail to live up to even the abysmally low standards of technical and intellectual quality for which You Tube is so rightly infamous. But, all hope is not yet lost!

Should the above-listed "prophecies" fail to measure up to to your accustomed level of paranoid delusions, you should check out the site's link to the Illuminati Card Game predicts the Future! page. Although no reason is given for why "Bible-believers" should accept an obviously non-Biblical source, it is amusing to see the "mental gymnastics" to which some Bible prophecy addicts will subject themselves rather than admitting that their interpretation of scripture could be wrong.

The owner/sponsor/webmaster of the above-described monument to intellectual impairment and technical incompetence is never identified, although whether this is lack of identification is either inadvertent or intentional remains unclear. Given the obvious total ignorance of the fundamental principles of web design, and this site's absurd content, I was initially convinced that the latter was the more likely. However, after a modest amount of "link hacking" and "View Page Source," I discovered that this site is possibly the handiwork of an obscure organization known as Riley Stephenson Ministries ("Mobilizing the Body of Christ") of Newark, Texas. Although I would not attempt to paint Brother Stephenson's ministry with the wide brush of "guilt by association," I would be remiss if I did not remind the reader that the State of Texas has, at one time or another, provided a base of operations for such testimonies to religious diversity as televangelist Robert Tilton's "Success-N-Life" scam, a few isolated compounds full of Mormon polygamists, and the original "Waco Wacko" and company, David Koresh and the Branch Davidians.

As I have stated time and time before, even though the "Pentecostal" and "Evangelical Christian" communities seem to have an unblemished record when it comes to being wrong in their interpretation of "Bible prophecy," these are the same groups that invariably resort to the tired threats of "Hellfire and damnation" against anyone who does not accept their "End of the World as Interpreted by a Functional Illiterate" scenario. While such tactics have been proven effective at temporarily, and literally, "scaring the Hell out of" Sunday School children, these same tactics are absolutely worthless when it comes to creating a change of adult behavior lasting for a period of time longer than that imposed by an irate spouse or by the court as a condition of probation.

I guess all that stuff about "God's boundless love," "repentance," and "forgiveness" was nothing more than just a lot of hot air; particularly when there are "sinners" that need to be punished.

Disclaimer The author of this page emphatically and loudly denies, from the steps of the courthouse at high noon on election day and in the presence of the County Sheriff, Jesus of Nazareth, and four other important people, any connection, real or imagined, with whoever is responsible for the above-mentioned web site.