Giving My Baby Back

My baby isn't really a baby but he will always be "my baby". Since the day he was born he has relied on me more than anyone ever has in my life. So small and fragile, he seemed. We were told that he couldn't breathe very well and they weren't sure why. Since that time, so many years ago, we have been through a lot. I have learned that good and bad go hand in hand and that you can rarely just have one or the other. All children rely on their parents to take care of them and to make their lives the best that they can be. Every child wouldn't be here if it were not for their parents. Parents give life to their children.
I have a child that is sick and have been told many times that he isn't going to live a long time. That for us to expect him to die of old age isn't a realistic expectation. Many times he has proved those doctors wrong and continued to do the things that they all said he wouldn't. He turned 11 in September of 2007. Here we are in January of 2008 and the doctor's are yet again telling us that he is reaching the end of his time here on earth. Jamie has a large tumor in his chest that is wrapped around his airway, his esophagus and his spine. It has stayed the same size for years. His airway is being compressed by this tumor and had remained unchanged at the 25% compression. January 8, 2007 was a day that will be one of those days that will forever be etched in my brain. It will the day that I was told that my son was getting worse. His airway wasn't at the 25% it had been but was now compressed in a "good half inch". The next Monday he had an MRI and confirmed what the doctor's had said. His tumor was changing. He was, in fact, getting worse. This past Friday we took him to our local pediatrician because he seemed like he was getting a cold. He said that he was not sick at that time and the problems he was having were most likely from his tumor growth. He asked me if I had the "prognosis talk" yet and that if I had not had it, I needed to. He advised me to enjoy every minute with him and that we would hopefully get a couple of more years with him. I fought back the tears, not unlike what I am doing as I write this.
I love him so very much and I can't imagine my life with out him. I keep thinking to myself that he has beat their odds so many times that he can do it again. Every so often a little fear comes in and wonders how many times will God let him beat their odds.
Today, I what I ask of everyone that reads this, If you have children, let hug them extra today. Let them know that you love them no matter what. That in the hustle of life they are still on your mind and in your thoughts. For those that have children that are healthy, be thankful for their health. For those lucky enough to have or have had a health challenged child... YOU are one of the chosen ones. One that God hand selected to know someone that would change your life forever. You are one of the special people that was given a gift that not everyone is given and that not everyone can handle. Our children are on loan, only borrowed from God... and sometimes we have to give them back.