Giving Yourself Permission to Feel Bad

I have been in communication in recent weeks with a women going through chemotherapy. She is having a tough time dealing with guilt because she simply does not have the energy to be and do what she used to. Well meaning friends are tyring to encourage her by telling her about patients who are, or have "breezed" through chemotherapy. Although they mean well, that is not fair to her - or to YOU, if that is waht you are experiencing. For the moment you ARE tired, nauseous and dealing with the "ickies". So, you need to be honest with yourself and accept yourself right where you are.

Here are several very important things you can do for yourself. At a time when you are pretty much out of control of everything in your life...it can help you feel better just controlling these few things. Along with that control you will help yourself stay as healthy as possible physically and emotionally.

1. Make certain you are getting enough water. During chemotherapy it is imperative to stay hydrated. Chemotherapy drugs suck moisture out of your body- especially your skin. Here is a simple formula to help determine just the right daily amount of water you need.

Divide your body weight by two. This is the minimum number of ounces of water you need daily. If water tastes metallic or "off", you can add an ounce of unsweetened fruit juice to a glass of water to help keep you drinking.

2. Your body craves - and needs - extra protein whenever it goes through trauma...and we all know...chemotherapy is trauma to your body! You need nearly twice the daily protein when dealing with cancer compared to when you are healthy. If you do not give your body enough protein, it will begin eating at your body tissue to get the nutrients it needs to survive this journey. So, be sure to eat extra protein from good, organic sources.

3. Adjust any exercise regimen you may have done before beginning treatment. You need energy to exercise AND exercise produces energy. It is an interesting and fascinating concept. Light to moderate exercise will increase your energy level so you can keep your daily routine and schedule as normal as possible.

4. Most important is giving yourself permission to feel bad. This is not a negative mind-set. Instead it is allowing yourself to feel how you are truly feeling without a guilt trip. I am not advocating just laying arond and moping. What I am saying is to be real with what you are feeling and show yourself grace to be in that place for the moment. If you have young children, come up with new, energy sparing, ways to spend time with them. Your children can take you for a ride in their wagon. They would love that! Or, have them read to you while you rest. Depending on the age(s) of your children, purchasing a good children's recipe book for them to make menus and cook from will allow you to sit during meal preparation yet still spend time with them. Use the same concept for all your relationships. Ask your husband or friends to come up with new ideas for spending time together. Try to do things at home whenever possible to avoid the germs you encounter with crowds. Check out mylifeline.org for great movie suggestions to watch while munching on popcorn.

You are special to God and all those in your life. Take care of yourself and give yourself permission to feel bad today. Tomorrow may be a better day.