Global Warming

The globe is warming some experts say,
Glaciers are dangerously melting away.
Polar bears searching for the ice lands of old,
Devastation is certain, or so we're told.

As I look out my window, I'm a little confused.
I see an exhausted snow blower that my sister just used.
Her wool hat is covered with icicle fingers
And the sheet of ice on the steps still lingers.
"Breezes" of seventy miles per hour
Gently knock out electrical power.
Wind "chill" temperatures far below zero
Make me question Al Gore, our global hero.

My car windshield snapped, a huge crack has appeared,
Can't tarp it over, the driveway's not cleared.
The snow drifts have buried my path to the street,
And cold pays no mind to global warming deceit.

The neighbor's car tires are starting to sing,
Looks like he'll be stuck there 'til spring.
My perennial bulbs are snuggled below
Several feet of global warming snow.

My bones are creaking, my heating pad glowing,
The blood in my veins is hardly flowing.
My mittens get stuck when I try to type,
And I wonder if global "doom" is just hype.

Who's making these calls, and where do they live?
I'm sure they are brilliant and have much to give,
But come on guys, take a look outside,
Find a snowmobile and take a quick ride.

Our town looks like a scene from Zhivago
It's not steaming in heat like Santiago.
So for a while lay off the melting ice cap,
And shut up about the global warming crap.

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