Global Warming Conference Postponed Due to Snow
"That a blizzard of this magnitude could catch us totally by surprise is yet another sign that Earth's temperature is on the rise," announced Torvald Van Ecken, spokesperson for the fictitious organization. "When the world's most powerful computers and top scientists can't predict a simple blizzard is further proof that our climate is becoming increasingly unstable and unpredictable, which is the first sign of global warming."
"Everyone knows that global warming makes long-term weather prediction impossible," added Marcia Green, one of over a hundred climatologists paid for by the organization. "That's why we must reduce our carbon footprint now, before it's too late, and people move on to another issue."
Conference officials, concerned the heavy snow and record cold will slow efforts to raise awareness for global warming, urged followers not to panic.
"The Earth is still warming. Doomsday is still coming, and it's still cool to drive hybrids" added Van Ecken.
Despite the best efforts of organization officials, many global warming advocates were left disillusioned by the announcement that the conference was delayed.
"Postponing the conference is like postponing global warming itself!" said Nancy Sternwright, an environmental activist who made the trek from Massachusetts to Oslo in a vegetable oil powered pontoon made entirely out of plant fibers. "I mean, what am I supposed to tell my kids? That the Earth may not be a hellish inferno by the time they graduate college?"
Other global warming advocates, concerned that the Earth is not heating up fast enough for average people to notice, have criticized organization officials for not going ahead with the conference.
"Every day we wait is less money we raise for global warming," said Tom Craven, a regular conference attendee from Baltimore made up for this article. "Without funding for my global warming non-profit, I might as well go back to working for Maryland Public Television."
Al Gore, who was enjoying a late season ski trip in Vail, Colorado, was unavailable for comment.
The conference is rescheduled for the start of summer or May 3rd, whichever comes first.
Published by Will Wright
I'm a film industry veteran with over a hundred professional credits. View profile
- Global Warming Then and Now: 1997 Beliefs Versus 2007 Knowledge
- Diane Feinstein is Very Worried About Global Warming
- Global Warming, Environmental Degradation and Pollution: What Are the Real Causes?
- Global Warming Information for Kids
- How to Stop Global Warming
- Global Warming: Rachel Carson's Ecological Message of Concern Resonates Today
- The Inconvenient Truth Behind Global Cooling, Global Dimming and Global Warming Ma...
9 Comments
Post a CommentGo ahead, you can tell us. You also write for News of the Weird. I love you satirical stuff. Bravo!
the very idea that a global warming conference is cancelled due to a blizzard, is proof that this is the biggest hoax perpetrated by science!! This is the most ridiculous thing ever heard!
Report: The Truth about Global Warming-Armageddon/ apocalypse
In the future the only thing to eat will be other people
By: Willie J. McDonald
July-1983
Non- Fiction
Armageddon, apocalypse, and global warming are one in the same. Global Warming, Armageddon, and apocalypse what ever you want to call it, can be stopped! Please read this report. In the name of God the world must listen to me, before its too late! Please do not trust the US government in this matter. Unlike the US government I don't have any conflict of interest. I'm an expert on the subject of global warming. The American governmental scientists are knowingly lying to the world about global warming. Telling the world green house gases are causing global warming, so the oil companies can continue to pump crude oil. The truth will cause a world wide economic collapse, but the alternative is far worse. The real reason for global warming is the earth's or
Report: The Truth about Global Warming-Armageddon/ apocalypse
In the future the only thing to eat will be other people
By: Willie J. McDonald
July-1983
Non- Fiction
Armageddon, apocalypse, and global warming are one in the same. Global Warming, Armageddon, and apocalypse what ever you want to call it, can be stopped! Please read this report. In the name of God the world must listen to me, before its too late! Please do not trust the US government in this matter. Unlike the US government I don't have any conflict of interest. I'm an expert on the subject of global warming. The American governmental scientists are knowingly lying to the world about global warming. Telling the world green house gases are causing global warming, so the oil companies can continue to pump crude oil. The truth will cause a world wide economic collapse, but the alternative is far worse. The real reason for global warming is the earth's or
You rock!
Will, I'm with you. All this talk about global warming and it's snowing at the end of April. Is this the Day After Tomorrow or is it a Waterworld after all?
Sorry, the comment-thing isn't working again. I wrote earlier: Excellent Will!
Excellent Will!
I would have attended the conference, but I booked on American Airlines and my flight was canceled, 6 times.