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Being Divorced a Long Time Doesn't Make it Allright to Have a Boyfriend!

I realized that most of the people I have met in churches were divorced or divorced and remarried. I honestly did not see this as a big issue until after my divorce. I used to think, " Wow, that is bad what these people have to go through. I am glad it is not me. So, as long as I am ok, I do not have to worry about those who are in this situation".

Well, that is very selfish. But , again, I did not see things that way. I used to believe that once you said a lame sorry to God, then you were forgiven of your remarriage and you could go on.

Well, just yesterday, I met someone whose wife left him because she thought the grass was greener on the other side.

You know, I want to write to those people that remarried our spouses. I have seen on the internet comments from them saying how horrible is the ex-wife of their "husbands" or the ex-husband of their new "wives" and how the kids do not like them, and what a hard time the ex-wife or ex-husband gives to them being together. How they want the kids to call them " mom" or " dad", but you know the EX is such a witch,etc. Of course it is a mess because this is not the order of God! Where the Spirit is there is joy, peace, and righteousness. Is that what is found in these so called new marriages? If there is no peace,there is a reason and God is shouting it at you: This is not my WAY! Repent!

I even read somewhere where the new woman told the wife to move on already and divorce her husband so THEY can now be together because they have a ministry to do together!!!! Wow, the impertinence! And sadly, the deception!

Those of you who are with someone else's spouse and you hear about their wives or husbands not getting over it, I encourage you to really think what you are doing. God said that when two join they shall be one, and no longer two. Well, if God said that, how can we let the judge, the lawyers, the mother-in-law, the pastor, etc tell us that once two people divorce, they are two again? Didn't you hear, God said they were no longer two. So if something is one, then when they divorce is not two, but half and half. Two bleeding halves.

That is why there is turmoil, kids are angry, parents now do not get along, and that is why the other half is giving you a hard time: because you are in a place where you should not be rightfully. It is their place!

The most horrible thing is also that we not only take someone else's spouse but continue going to church andf lift supposedly holy hands to God and thank Him for our "marriage" . What is one really saying here?" Thank you for the new husband you gave me. And move that ex-wife out of the pciture. Touch her Lord so we can have peace. Make her understand that this is now MY husband", or, " Make him understand that this woman is with me now and she is mine.Or I am going to sue his ...(blank)" And you believe God is listening to that. I ask you my dear friend to put youself in the shoes of those people. See, those two people got married out of love. They were bride and groom. Had dreams to spend life together. They maybe have kids even. And then you come in and jump right in and call yourself a Christian and satan used you at the righ time to " help" one of these spouses. The enemy came into their lives and tinted their lenses. They see each other as enemies. Which that is not true. It is satan's jobs to twist perception. We need to believe God when He said that we do not wrestle againt flesh and blood. The spouse is not the enemy. They are the ones needing help. Needing love. Satan is the right enemy. But how can we fight him if we do not even take it seriously that there is a warfare going on? I do not care how much one says how bad the other person is, I choose to believe God and he says they are NOT the enemy. I have to believe God and not what I see.

Stay away from divorced people. If you are really a Christian then pray for a broken marriage. Do not go and become very friendly with the opposite sex. You are there at the wrong time and with the wrong person. A piece o paper doesn't divorce a person's feelings. One minute one is on this side of the fence and next minute that person is supposed to give you room and suddenly forget about her or his feelings, on the account that it is over and you meddled?

The Scripture says, " Flee from immorality. Every other sin man does, does it not against his body. But immorality is against your body"( Apostle Paul). Yet, I encountered so many situations where supossedly Christians say, " Well, I am going to marry this new person and then I will ask God to forgive me". He forgives. You are deceived, my friend. How can you go in a church and commit adultery through remarriage and think God is blessing the marriage? If it is adultery, then how can it be blessed by God? And if you think like that in your heart, then can you really say you are a Christian? Can you really say you respect and fear God? Do you even know Him?

I understand that you " fell in love". I understand that you were lonely. I understand that maybe your spouse left you and someone listened. Satan knows our weaknesses and he is a master orchestrator or catastrophic events that will lead you away from your destiny.

My question is, " Do you love Jesus more than you love a man or a woman?" Would you rather live in sin than obey God, just so you can have someone?

I know it is not easy to forsake someone. I have been there, although to be honest for me it wasn't that hard because I would rather be alone than live in sin. I believe Christ is real and He means what He says, and I definitely would never choose a man over Jesus. Oh, yes, I am tempted. I messed up. But that is why I made a decision to not hang out with a man. I do not tutor young college men, I do not chat with them, I do not call or answer phone calls from them, once I know what danger could that be for my soul. I am weak. I must admit. Especially when your husband is not home. You are in a bind. You cannot even flirt with someone because you are not single altough you are! Not that I a interested anyway, but it is easier for truly sinlge people to handle this sometimes than those who are alone, but not single in the Lord's eyes. No wonder Jesus said that a husband that leaves his wife, makes her an adulteress. Well, if she will allow herself to go there. When you are single is nothing wrong with liking someone. But if you are still married in God's eyes, you cannot do that and you cannot remarry. You are stuck!

But, no matter how much we might care for a person, we need to love God even more and fear Him and choose to leave that relationship no matter what! Your soul is in danger. Your very life is , too! I believe in sowing and reaping. You know, I have seen it in my country. So, many people gave their lives to Jesus..or so we thought...but slowly they walked away from Him...do you know what happened to each one of them? Some died, some paralized, and some went insane. One of them is my own sister. I have been praying for her because she is so young, but she lived in so much sin....In fact, I have been crying before the Lord about her and yesterday I found out from my aunt that she is doing much better! She was a happy kid! Why do they all experience stuff like these? Is it God doing it? No! It is the principle of sowing and reaping! If you do not obey God, you do not have His protection. Your body will be destroyed by satan.Sin has a destructive effect.

God loves you. Why would you throw away what you were created to do for another person? Jesus is enough. I know it because He has been enough for me. He has a purpose for you and it is not wasting it on some relationship that you feel trapped in. There is always a way out. God will help you, if you seek Him.Nothing is impossible with God!

I was in your shoes. I was with this man after my divorce, but somehow I did not feel right about being with someone else.Plus, I just ran into this relationship so fast...did not heal at all.Yet, while I was with this man I used to pray, " God send my husband home. Help us be together again. God if I am in adultery, get me out of here". I meant it. And God answered my prayer. It was a bad circumstance, but God used it for my good.He got my out of it one way or another. I am really grateful.I do not miss the man. I do not talk to the man. I do not hate him, but I need to be strong and stay away from traps of satan. You got to submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you. A pastor said one time a very wise thing, " You cannot live against your conscience". Or something like that. But this is not something we can choose and pick to believe. I heard some people say that well, you just need to be sure for yourself. Listen, then it means exactly what God said one time about the Israelites: Everyone is doing what is right in their eyes. You know sometimes satan will work in such a way that when you decide to do right, he will send you all these men to call you or women to wink at you, etc. Satan doesn't like us taking a stand. He will try everything to jeopardize your life, but you got to not be blind to his tricks. Do not even allow yourself to say, " Well, we are just talking. It will not hurt. We are just friends". My Romanian pastor said to us one time while we were teenagers that if you put a man and a woman together in a room, even if they do nof like each other, eventually something will happen. How many marriages were runied that way bc one of the partners hung out with the opposite sex and chose to ignore satan's tricks!

I messed up, but God forgave me because I forsook sin. I am blessed now. I am amazed of how well He is taking care of me and not ending up on well-fare. Divorce ruins your finances, your dreams, your hopes, etc. It is worse than death bc at least if your spouse had died, you would have known he or she died loving you and you would miss them, but this is worse bc every day satan likes to remind you how worthless you are to your spouse, how much he or she values you, how they parade in front of you with the other person..or you may be the other person. I want to tell you to please get a heart!!! Imagine how the other person feels if there is any heart in you. Imagine how God feels about the whole situation. Imagine how much God loves you that He doesn't want you to live in sin.

I talked to a pastor from Conneticut yesterday and he said something very neat. He said that if we feel disgusted with sin and our hearts hurt because of what is happening, imagine how God feels. We need to care about His feelings.

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You are too valuable to God to waste your life for a married man or a married woman. And the other family is too valuble to God to watch you causing them pain and you being a hindrance to their restoration. Pray for them. Care about what God cares. God hates divorce. Do you hate it or you love the fact that someone is divorced so now you can be with one of the partners? LET God really examine your heart. Think of the kids passed back and forth. Do you really believe the best scenario if for them to be with you better than with both parents? And if their parents are losers then pray for them. You still have your salvation to think about. One cannot claim to be a child of God yet living in disobedience. Not all who say , "Lord, Lord" will inherit the Kingdom of God, but those who do the WILL of Father. His will is your holiness. His will is for husbands to love their wives not treat them like dirt. His will is for wives to respect their husbands. His will is you following Him.

Ask forgiveness from the family, from the kids,and from God. Humble yourself and do it. Sometimes our flesh doesn't want to do that, but it is necessary. Jesus said that if you remember that

I have a hard time keeping grudges. I struggle, but then I give people chances again. That is why I do not get into mental breakdown or such because God is my strength. God has been and is still with me on countless nights when I just need Him to listen and hold me on His lap because of the pain. He is the one that sustains me when I feel like I just cannot do this anymore or take one more step or just feel like running away and hide. " I will be there" by Steven Curtis Chapma is the song that I believe God sings it to me. He is my husband now.......

He will sustain you no matter how hard it is. Just commit to Him your life, you loneliness, your pain. And if you have a husband or wife out there, go back home!(see Rejoice Ministries).

Go back home! Some of these spouses are waiting and they will accept you no matter what :kid or no kids or who knows what else? I know I cannot put conditions on God. A kid in the mix of all this is not a problem. God is bigger and besides if they are truly Christians themselves, they will accept you. For such is the love of Jesus. When you love someone all of the sudden their sins and problems are not so big anymore. James said that love covers a multitude of sin. The problem is loving. But knowing how much Jesus loved us and forgave us, shouldn't we love those who hurt us?Love has no conditions. True love. God is love. He has no conditions. And if He truly comes and lives in you, He will love through you because you no longer live, and I bet He would forgive you, your spouse, and even those who you have a hard time loving. He doesn't have a hard time loving. So, allow Him to love through you.

Flee from immorality. The apostle Paul said, "Do not be deceived! Those who practice immorality will not inherit the Kingdom"( 1 Cor 6). If you think you can live in sin and inherit the Kingdom, there is a word for you, " Do not be deceived!" See, we have this picture of God that He is so much love,that He ignores our disobedience. It is almost like God is our buddy and when He says something we do not take it seriously or as a command bc after all would we always do what a " buddy" tells us? He has no authority in our lives, and neither does God...for so many of us...I love my daughter, but I do not always ignore her disobedience. Love is also correcting and disciplining. Discipline is more than time out. Proverbs said to use the rod. Now that hurts! And God is a father who will use the rod sometimes...and that will hurt. But He does it all because He loves us and wants us to be different than the world.

And anyone who speaks the name of the Lord, may he or she depart from sin ( apostle Paul).www.cadz.net there is a story of women and men under testimonies about how God dealth with them while going through these situations. Check it out. I pray it helps.someone else has something against you,you go make it right. HE did not say if you have something against them. The weight is on you; it is on us. And I am convinced that most of this mixed families have individuals that have something against someone because of this. Go make it right. Christianity is not just words, but actions. Now if they do not want to talk with you, you are free before God. You did all you could. But you need to. Jesus said we must. There are way too many so called believers in Jesus that think it is ok to worship God, while their ex-wives are bitter with them, and hurt...and they say, " Well, she is just a bitter woman; she is crazy etc. etc. I am not going to her". Well, my friend you are disobeying Christ because He said that before you bring your worship, go make things right.