God Banned from Public Schools
God's Presence in Schools Declared Unconstitutional
"God should not be in public schools where he might unduly influence unsuspecting children without the consent of their parents," wrote Judge Alfred T. Goodwin in the majority opinion.
As a result of this controversial decision, God will no longer be allowed to be present inside of any public educational facility. Children are asked not to pray to God, and are told he will not show up if ask. When asked about the children praying to help them on a test, Goodwin answered, "Well, I think that such activity should be discouraged anyway as I and, I would suspect, any reasonable person would see assistance from a divine, all-knowing deity on an exam as cheating, and students should study rather than pay. You might call that a side benefit," he said.
Goodwin has asked for all administrators, teachers and hall monitors to be on the look-out for the Father, the Son or the Holy Ghost, and to immediately remove them from the premises if they are found.
"This is a big day for us," said John Lucifun, president of Godless UnAmerican Commies, or GUAC, the organization that helped fund the family the brought the suit, claiming that their children were harmed by the effects of having God in public schools. "We are one step over to taking over America for the atheists, which is of course our sole purpose in life."
"This decision is stupid," said a unanimous declaration from all 100 members of the Senate bashing the judicial opinion. The declaration came only seconds after news of the decision was made public, and Senators in a somewhat comic moment were almost falling over each other to be the first to praise God's presence on the Senate floor.
Televangelist Benny Money had this to say: "Those boys out there better watch out for the wrath of God. I predict floods, earthquakes, plagues, and terrorist attacks from the Almighty for this. Of course his wrath might be appeased if you prove your Godliness by sending me money."
"I think this should have happened a long time ago," said recent columnist, pundit and former presidential candidate Pat Buchanan. "God, and all other illegal aliens, have no right to participate in the benefits of America. Why should God get a free education that is paid for with our tax-payer dollars? When was the last time God paid taxes? I think he should be banned from getting health care at hospitals as well. Send him back to Heaven, or if he wants to stay tell him to get a green card."
Goodwin defended his decision in a press conference held this afternoon saying, "We activist, communist, atheist judges have been trying to undermine the traditional values and institutions of this great nation for decades, regardless of the rule of law or the truth of what the Constitution says. What's the problem with that?"
Published by Allen Butler
Allen Butler is a freelance writer and tutor living in Austin, TX. View profile
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10 Comments
Post a CommentThis is one of the most disgusting articles I have ever read. They just took God our of my son's school because of two families that just started attending this year and it's disgraceful and evil. Sneaky waiting til the end of the year, too! That's Satan working. And for the people quoted in this article, I feel sorry for your souls on judgement day. Jesus isn't in our school to get "an education" he is there to heal the broken heart, praise people for the good they do (yes even at school!) amongst many other things, which by the way, are done everywhere because God IS everywhere! So you can take his name out of the school, but my son will stand up proudly and say 'UNDER GOD" during our pledge, regardless of what he's "told to do" by schmucks like you. And he'll bring people to Jesus at school, too, because he's my little deciple and I'm right there in his corner along with all the other Christian families that just got dissed my two little families. So how do you like that?
"Lucifer the almighty saviour," you are an idiot. I am just being straight out with you. You are taking the right path straight to hell. Congratulations. I am happy to read the first 7 comments and glad to know that there are some strong believers in Christ that will stand up for what they believe in. Athiest will take over America, after the rapture and all the true Christians are in heaven. Have fun those seven years because after that you and all your athiest buddies are going to burn in hell forever. Go ask God for forgiveness, or don't. I will spread the word of The Almighty God but I am not the Christian that will feel sorry for you. May God continue to Bless America!
ur all dumb
Hahaha oh wow I find it rather funny that you're cndeming yourself. If you're an atheist and don't know anything about God than don't get in the topic it's like me going to preform a surgery and not being a surgeon! You may try to ban God but God is almighty and he's EVEYWHERE! Whether you like it or not...oh and by the way God doesn't help cheat on exams if we don't study than obviously we won't pass. The reason for the prayer is so that God may help us remember what we studied..duh!! Get your facts straight before attacking...May God Bless you and touch your soul before it's too late.....
wrong. Hell is God's wrath and holy anger. By all means, continue believing what you would like to believe. God will have His way no matter what. And God can't be banned from anywhere, He goes where He pleases.
God cannot be banned from public schools. He is God and He will do as He pleases. However, I blame all of those who call themselves Christians for this problem. We have failed to stand up for the Truth. We have, in a way, become like the pharisees in Jesus' day, and made Christianity a religion. To whoever wrote this article: I know you would like an apology from us Christians. I am sorry that we have not lived up to who we should be. We are humans, just like you and everyone else in this world and have sinned in many different ways. But regardless of what we have done, or what you have done, God is still God and we are most certainly not. He has His way and is allowing everything that goes on right now to go on- not because we deserve it- but because we chose it. We are the ones who choose sin, not God. We are the ones to blame, all of us human beings on earth- Christians and nonChristians. Even if you think hell will be better than heaven...and that hell will be escaping God, you are
There is no way that atheist will rule america.. just because you do not bellieve in God does not mean e is not real it means you are willingly ignorant and blind to the truth. If you believe that when you drive your car in to a telephone pole that you wont get hurt.. you will still get hurt. so even if yo dont believe in GOd HE IS AND ALWaYS WILL BE BEGINNING AND THE END!! the only thing left is will you bow to him willingly or in the end will you be pulled down by his ALL POWERFUL HAND
I think that athesist will not rule America. God has and always will be part of America and anyone who thinks different is going to pay. In the Bible it states "deny me before men and I will deny you before my father who is in heaven." You athesist will not win! I think that it is time for we christian citizens to stand up and fight harder to get God back in schools so that our children will learn that God is the creater of everything and He will always be around. James and Jonathan are right the first ammendment is clearly stated and the people who made a law against God in schools are breaking it!! Our forefathers made those ammendents unto God and no one can change that. God has no intention to dilute unsespecting children or parents. He loves everyone and we should love him. I intend to pray for you all who believe that God is trying to prey on children and to remind you that children however old are influenced by their parents and their parents beliefs. If you tell them that God i
I would like to comment that banning God from anywhere in the united states is unconstitutional. In the first ammendment in the Bill of Rights it is clearly stated: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
In the lines above, anyone who is not legally blind can tell that prayer in schools can't be prevented without establishing a law that clearly goes against "prohibiting the free exercise thereof."
God, is what our Nation is founded on. Take God out of our public schools you might as well take God out of everything. If you think for just one second that God has nothing to do with our great Nation, think again. The sole reason that makes this Nation so great is the fact that our forefathers baseed our laws off of God. We are, and will always be one Nation under God. Whoever thinks God is just some fairytail better think again. I pray for your own benifit that you will fall to your knees and beg God's forgivness on your sole.