God is Not Fair

Eric Hetvile
On the scale of "shit that is good", I think everyone would agree that fairness and equality are right up there at the top behind french fries. Any imagined/designed/created construct must always take fairness into account.

Designing a new game? It has to be fair. Scissors cut paper. Paper covers rock. Rock smashes scissors. It has to be like that. If scissors could cut a rock, then everybody would be trying to pick scissors and the thing would probably break out in a fight. Not fair.

So what is going on down here on earth? We are living our lives, trying to gain some happiness without preventing others from gaining theirs (unless they want your big screen TV or something, then it's on!).

Many believe that the key is to believe in Jesus. Love him, perhaps. You do that and you live forever where the streets are paved with gold. (Are we driving on these streets or is it more of a pedestrian walkway? Because I'd imagine those streets would kick up a hell of a glare. The back of one of those damn hatchbacks is already enough to give me a headache sometimes...) OK, what might a rational person desire in order to believe in something? Some sort of proof. Perhaps physical. Perhaps visual. Something.

If this is what God/Jesus really wants and it is so important to him - for us to believe in him (or possibly burn in hell for eternity), you'd think he'd make it fair. I mean, this is pretty serious stuff. Burning flesh is on the line, and forget about the pain, that stuff can really smell!

But it doesn't seem terribly fair. God talked to Moses and parted the Red Sea. He burned a bush. So he saw some physical/visual proof. It was easy for him to believe. God talked to Noah and bestowed upon him futuristic shipbuilding plans and killed almost everyone on earth (not fair, but let's continue). So again, it was easy for Noah to believe. God killed Job's 10 kids over a bet with Satan (not fair, but let's stop getting sidetracked), so as pissed as he should be, it was easy for Job to believe. I could go on.

It seems that God has gotten shy since those happy times, so now it's kind of a word of mouth thing. Why is this starting to sound like an MLM? Let me guess, this is all so that God can put more money into the product and not waste money on a central marketing campaign? Got it. But have you seen some of these reps and distributors? These were handpicked? God is cool with this arrangement? Maybe this is the same "plausible deniability" that Amway uses. Sometimes I tell my kids stuff to pass on to my wife, but you have to believe if her eternal soul were on the line, I would go and deliver the message myself. No matter. I get it. It's a word of mouth thing now.

So if you are born to parents who tell you that Jesus rules your daily life, you are more likely to believe than someone born to parents who lack such faith. Kids believe what their parents tell them (I am told - I personally haven't seen much evidence of this). Still, in this age of technological wonders, a lot of people now have access to the most serious forms of truth such as the bible and Fox News. So let's say most of America has been given their chance. But what if you live in the 3rd world and Tim Tebow's family hasn't gotten around to your village yet? Well, you continue shrinking heads or throwing maidens into volcanoes, and when you die, you're screwed.

Fair?

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  • Philip Theibert2/3/2011

    If the Cubs win a world series that ihas gotta be a sign. Or in the words of JFK, Dallas, 1963 - Life isn't fair.

  • Carol Bengle Gilbert2/1/2011

    You are really on a roll with your comedy.

  • Michele Starkey2/1/2011

    Eric - I follow Jesus and it is the faith to walk on water. Some of those whose faith falters will fail. Faith is like that. Jesus is the only flotation device I'll ever need. Faith like that comes from Hebrews 11:1 (I chose the NLT), "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." cheers :)

  • Eric Hetvile1/25/2011

    True, but with the lower labor costs in Gomorrah, what could he do?

  • Mike Oberg1/25/2011

    I think "fair" is more commonly seen as a noun than as an adjective!

  • Mike Oberg1/25/2011

    Noah must be the worst businessman yet! God set him up with a monopoly and he still couldn't hold onto the shipbuilding market.

  • Vincent Van Noir6/7/2010

    I really like the inference to God and religion being like MLM. You might be on to something with this line of reasoning. Good article.

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