God Says to Forgive and Forget - Should We Really Forget?
Why Forgiving and Forgetting Are Healing
Somewhere along the way, we forgot to forget all those times that the person hurt and used us, and did mean things to us, and behind our backs. Does this mean we have not forgiven, or does it mean we have simply not forgotten in order not to be hurt again?
The bible says many times to forgive, and how many times we are to forgive. But some people have the mistaken concept that to forgive is also to forget, and that is not biblical, nor is it true. To forgive is not to hold the person accountable for that wrong anymore, but forgiveness does not mean that we have forgotten what they have done.
The bible says when someone slaps the one cheek, to turn and offer them the other cheek also. I believe that we are to do that because God tells us to do that. But what is one to do when they have run out of cheeks, so to speak, after so many times of this? Are we above being human, in that after so much of this, we tire of it? Or do we continue to let someone use and hurt us?
I believe God gave us brains and minds to think with, and to use. Our brain tells us that we would be fools or idiots to continue to offer up a cheek to be slapped, after so many times of being slapped in the face.
How many of us, being human as we are, would continue to offer up that cheek? We are commanded by God to forgive. But I have a hard time believing that God would want us to forget our pasts, because our pasts are what make us who we are and how we relate to our present.
To err is human, but to forgive is devine.........how many times have we heard that saying? All sin and come short of the glory of God. None are above sinning, and none are so perfect and good that they can do no wrong. But some cannot admit they are wrong, and cannot say they are sorry. How does one forgive someone like this?
I say that we forgive them as we forgive anyone.....but again I say that to forgive is not the same thing as forget. When we forgive someone, we are not saying we have forgotten what they have done or said. We are saying we forgive them. Most of us will probably admit that we will forget when we are too senile to remember anymore.
God gave us memories for a reason. If God intended for us to forget all that done to us wrong, why would God have made us with minds that remember? There is no separation in the mind for the good memories and the bad. They all go to one mind, in one place, and not separate categories. We cannot simply delete the bad or unpleasant memories. They become part of us and who we are.
If you are beating yourself up over the lack of forgetting a wrong or wrongs done to you, stop. If you are one of those that think if we do not forget, we have not really forgiven, pull out your bible and read it. God made us the way we are for a reason, and experiences, some of them bad, are what make us a better witness for Christ. We cannot witness what we do not know.
Published by Cindy Thomas
I am a freelance writer and graphic designer. I've been writing for many years and have recently discovered the joys of graphic designing. Follow BlondieWrites on Twitter @Blondie_Writes View profile
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10 Comments
Post a CommentWhat if someone hurt you in a relationsship over and over again by lying cheating, slandering name, saying hurtful things to you wishing you bad luck, and threatening to leave you when you ask question. Eventually you're able to leave this person and you even provide for them to have something of their own. All of a sudden that person starts acting like they are hurt because you decided to move on with your life and started asking question whether you are leaving them for someone else, so you start feeling sorry because you have also done some things but that person don't know about it. you start letting them come by to see you and the kids and they think that you are back in a relationship, so you remind them that that's not the case and they start acting hurt again which confuses you because you don't want that person to hurt no matter how much they hurt you. Now this person is being so sweet and you really miss them. I've forgiven this person for the pain they
Thank You for this...
I believe if someone ask for forgivness from someone and they say that they do forgive you then that is a great thing. But if that person who forgave you continues to try in get back at you for what you did then they were not forgiving you to begin with. How can you the person that was not forgiven move on with your life? What do you do if this person had you believing that every thing was okay when it was all just an act just to get you back in there lives to hurt you in return for what you did to them 2 years ago????
I believe if someone continues to intentionally hurt you over and over, you have no choice but to forgive in order to go forward with peace in your heart. However, if the behavior continues, you have no choice but to break the ties that bind you in order to become the person God wants you to be. Unfortunately, there are toxic personalities out there that prey on the good. They will hold you back. FORGIVE AND MOVE ON TOWARDS THE GOAL OF THE MOST HIGH.
Hebrews 10 and Romans 3:21-31 is the perfect explanation of sin, sacrifice, forgiveness once and for all through the sacrifice of Christ.
As for your last paragraph...did Jesus also forgive his murderes?Luke 23:34 and they didn't admit the were wrong. One must have a forgiving heart through faith.
I have read in the bible somewhere to remember the good and to forget the bad. So I do try to forget also another good way to forgive is to also confess! That way we don't justify our own actions. So I try to confess forgive and forget and sometimes close the door on some relationships that are harmful to my spiritual standing like being unevenly yoked with unbelievers. I am free and happier now.
What if you forgive someone for the hurt they cause you, but they keep hurting you unintentionally? What if their circumstances cause them to hurt you, even though they sincerely do not want to hurt you? Should you keep forgiving and tolerating it?
wow thanks that helped me a lot in my situation
I think you are missing the point. We don't need to stay in a situation or relationship and continue to be treated wrong because GOD said we should forgive and forget. He doesn't want us to suffer, that would be pure stupidity on our part. Obviously we need to end that cycle, move on, forgive and forget. But if someone did something and has not continued to do it either because you told them it is wrong or because it was a one time occurrence, then forgive and forget. It all ends the same with forgiving and forgetting. If someone wrongs us and we don't let go, we continue to carry that baggage and allow them to hurt us even if they are no longer in our life. Ironically on the radio today they were talking about this subject. I women held on to bad feelings from a past boyfriend for years. Every new relationship suffered because she treated each new boyfriend as if they were the original guy who hurt her. Mean while the first guy moved on to be happily married with kids. Ho
WOW!!!Great article, I understand what you are saying. Love your last two sentences...Awesome!!!