God's Attentive Care to Five Children at a Funeral

A friend of mine died this past week, leaving behind a young family with five children. Their ages ranged from a high school senior down to elementary school. His memorial service was held on a sunny yet chilly morning at a recently opened Calvary Chapel in Viera, FL. and since I was at work, I looked up directions on the web, cleared the time off with my boss, and headed south for the 11am service.

I entered the expansive meeting area and tried to decide whether to sit with someone I knew. I really didn't feel like idly chatting, so after glancing around for a moment or two, I ended up taking a seat alone off to the left.

My friend loved music and had played with the Melbourne Municipal Band, the Rockledge High Alumni Band, as well as being the Captain of the Troy State University Marching Band. When not holding a trombone, you could also see his smiling face when he sang in the Calvary Chapel Choir. With music having such a prominent place in his life it was no surprise for me to see a group of smartly dressed trombonists sitting in a semi-circle along the platform before me. As I listened to them play, my eye suddenly fell on my friend's silent trombone standing mutely in its stand along the front, a startling reminder that without its owner, it was unable to make any sound. It was then that the family filed in and the ceremony began.

Early into the service, my attention was diverted. Another friend of mine, a former pastor, stood to his feet and walked up to the front, standing directly across from the five children. He explained that their mother had requested that he speak directly to them. And that's exactly what he did. At no point did I ever see his eyes or attention turn to anything other than those kids. He spoke to them as though they were the only ones in the room and even though I was in row 17 (or whatever number it was) the love and concern that came from this man was plain to see.

Have you ever had someone truly be with you? Really listen? I think it's about as rare as my talented trombonist friend. Gone, it seems, is the skill of truly being present with another. Think it's easy? The next time you're with a friend or spouse, try and focus entirely on what they are communicating. That means NOT thinking about what you're going to say next to whatever it is that they're talking about. Just concentrate and be present with them. Listen and be with them. Did you find it easy? I actually find it to be a lot of work.

And all of this flashed through my mind as I listened to my pastor friend focus all of his attention on these five kids who had just lost their Daddy. I realized later that his attentiveness communicated something else: God cares. God listens. Why, here was one of His servants conveying that very fact.

Later, one of the other pastors made a statement that still rings true and bright: Life matters. Like an expertly sustained note from a shiny brass trombone, those words keep echoing back at me.

Life matters

He's right. Life does matter. People matter.

While the music of your life still resonates, spend some time listening. Spend some time being. It's well worth the work, because that person before you -- matters.

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In loving memory of Tim C. Hartselle, Sr.

See you again soon, Tim.