God's Top Twenty New Year's Resolutions for 2010

It is January 18, 2010. I know I know; this is eighteen days late. However, it is still January. Have you've broken your New Year's resolutions yet? If not, you're a better man than me. If so, don't worry about it. It happens to the best of us. Anyway, here are a few of God's top twenty New Year's Resolution's for 2010 I wrote just for fun one afternoon. I hope you like it:

God's Top Twenty New Year's Resolutions for 2010

20. Stop using your World View Globe to peek into everyone on Earth's.

19. Stop appearing on Earth dressed as Elvis and Michael Jackson for a laugh whenever I am bored.

18. Stop whispering to people about what is going to happen in the series finale of "Lost" when they are sleeping. It isn't funny.

17. Don't believe Elvis when he tells you eating a roomful of peanut butter bacon sandwiches is a good thing. Believe that too much of a good thing is bad.

16. Never again play poker with Elvis, Princess Diana, Ed McMahon, and Billy Mays They cheat.

15. Sit Brittany Murphy down and tell her what happened and stop telling her it was her husband's fault.

14. Don't believe Sid Vicious and Nancy when they tell you they are only taking cold and allergy medicine to get rid of their growing fevers. It is not the truth.

13. Separate Sid and Nancy from the others. They are a bad influence.

12. Stopping rethinking your deal with the devil to keep Sid and Nancy and Billy Mays in Heaven. You want them here.

11. Stop staying up all hours playing with the IPhone Heath Ledger gave you for Christmas.

10. Never go out drinking with Elvis, Dean Martin, or Marilyn Monroe again, they keep drinking me under the table.

9. When feeling a little under the weather. Never take any medicine that Elvis offers. I am still recovering from that lost weekend, two weeks ago.

8. Never ask Farrah Faucet why she left her role in "Charlie's Angels." She is still not talking to me.

7. Stop creating those major disasters on Earth, when I am mad about something: Control my temper.

6. Stop staying up all night jamming with Johnny Cash, Elvis, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra etc and GET SOME SLEEP!

5 Stop using your powers to make Billy Mays's loud voice disappear whenever you see him so you don't have to hear his pitches any longer. He is getting wise to it.
4. Stop buying everything that Billy Mays sells to you. My closets are all filled up.

3. Stop telling Billy Mays that he likes Vince (The SLAP SHOT) guy better then the Australian guy. He is sick of hearing it because he likes the Australian guy better.

2. Stop making Patrick Swayze reenact scenes from "Road House" every time you're bored. He is getting sick of it. And it isn't nice.

1. Stop sending celebrities up to heaven whenever you feel bored. Leave them alone.

P.S. I hope I didn't offend anybody out there with my list about God's Resolutions. I assure you all it was all written in fun and not to offend anyone.

I hope this list put a smile on all my reader's faces. Please feel free to comment in the box below. Negative or positive; I don't mind. Bad comments mean that I am at least on people's minds. Please feel free to add you're own God's New Year's Resolutions if you want. Lol.