Golly Wii Whiz!

The Wii. We all laughed at it, scorned it, even looked down upon it when Nintendo announced they would be coming out with another game console, even after the horrible and pitiful failure that was the GameCube. I personally didn't want anything to do with Nintendo consoles anymore after I found myself in possession of a little purple box that seemed to hold no better purpose or function to it's existence than to look really gayishly purple and make my empty corner look a bit less lonely. I didn't even trust the Wii when screenshots of it first came out; the white-blue hue of its majestic, yet petite frame still wasn't enough to rouse me from my slumber caused by my distrust of Nintendo consoles.

That was, however, until I played the Wii. And Wii Sports.

And it's right about here that I should give Shigeru Miyamoto the due respect the man deserves. Already a gaming legend in his own right, he has managed to yet create another outstanding modern hit. I can already predict the future where in the next hundred years or so, people will still be talking about that "ageless classic", and even further down the timeline where the Wii will be recorded in the records of history as an "incredibly powerful relic capable of turning whole civilizations into healthy couch potatoes." For that is, my friend, what the Wii does.

I really haven't had the chance to venture yonder into Real Life and buy any other Wii games out there on the market yet. Yes, yes, I know at this very minute there are at least a good dozen Zelda fanboys who just got slightly lightheaded from jumping out of their chairs too quick. Yes, yes, I know I deserve to be flogged and what not, so put your foam Master swords away. BUT, I did have the privilege of playing Wii Sports. Who would've thought that it would be a sports game that would revitalize my faith in Nintendo, something that hasn't ever happened since the days of the SNES Final Fantasy games.

Players can choose from three games to play with: Baseball, Boxing, Golf, Tennis, and Bowling. Toss in Training mode for all five games and the Fitness Mode that reports nifty statistics on your performance as well as your fitness level, and game time is on. All of the games are simple to learn, simple to interact with, simple to play, simple to enjoy, but all the while challenging enough to hold you tight on your seats. I became a Wii Boxing fan immediately, being a exercise enthusiast with a punching bag myself, as it truly incorporated the chance for a player to get into the rythmn of the game while burning a few calories. Sure, sometimes the punches don't register, or sometimes the CPU seems like he's Lady Cleo by blocking all 20 of your punches with ease, but it's still a fun game to twist and turn and woop some stick figure ass. Every other game on the package is equally thrilling, all the more so if you're already a fan of that respective sport. Bowling gave me an opportunity to work on my curve (it's amazing, you really have to throw a curve to curve it), golf was mildly entertaining, mainly so because I don't like golf that much in the first place. Baseball has it's moments, especially in training mode with all those missions, and tennis is just plain mean fun.

It's hard to explain exactly why this game pleases so much, even though the gameplay and aesthetics aren't anything new or fresh. But it's the concept of throwing yourself into an alien world where you're actually in a higher degree of control over the game that's so innovative and captivating. It scares me to no end to ponder the fact that if Wii Sports could get me this enthralled, what would Zelda do? That's why I warn you all, play the Wii at your own risk.

Also, good luck trying to find one. You'll have more luck finding Kris Kringle having a midnight snack at Krispy Kreme than finding a Wii. Your best bet? Arrive early at any major game retailer. And I mean EARLY. Wii's are known to be sold out within the first 20 minutes of opening. So you better bring your +10 Speed Boots Of The Lynx with you, you're going to need it.