Gone but Not Forgotten

She left behind three small children ranging in ages from 1 year old to 7.

Bank of America now has a memorial fund to help cover her burial expenses. People can make donations at any Bank of America branch by name to the Sara Beth Walls Memorial Fund. Any portion of the fund not used for funeral costs will go toward providing an education for her children.

As you can well imagine, Sara's passing was just one chapter in an incredibly tragic and ongoing story that has affected many different people. It's easy to look down on someone or to point fingers and criticize, but the truth is because the good Lord made us all individuals, we all have our individual ways of dealing with life's struggles. Some, maybe most, can handle them, but sadly there are those who cannot.

On the one hand there were many people who tried to help Sara, but there were just as many who either hadn't a clue of how to go about it or who either turned their backs on her or tried to fit her into a mold that might have worked for most people but obviously didn't for her. It wasn't the first time that Sara had overdosed. In one instance she was in the hospital for one overdose when the staff decided that she "posed no danger to herself" and not only released her but also gave her back her meds. She immediately took another overdose while still at that hospital. I don't know. I'm not an expert in these matters but I would like to think that a "prudent" and "professionally trained" person would have recognized the danger that Sara posed to herself and acted accordingly.

Not being an "insider" with the hospital staff or with her mental health counselors I do not know how they arrived at their decision or what the criteria or protocols were that they used in determining her mental stability. I do know that somehow the system failed her and whenever that happens it should be time to re-evaluate those protocols and to try to figure out how to prevent it from happening again. Sara was definitely a square peg that did not fit into the round hole cookie cutter approach to dealing with people who have mental health/drug addiction issues.

It wasn't just the hospital and mental health professionals either.

At one point via the Arizona Supreme Court it was deemed that Sara was incapable of making legal and rational decisions on her own behalf and the court awarded her an "ad litem" attorney. I talked to the attorney a few days before Sara died, and the attorney told me that Sara had been "difficult to get ahold of." It didn't seem to me that the attorney had put forth enough effort to find her. Her mother and I talked to her every day. They could have contacted us and we could have helped them find her, yet we never heard from them, (and yes, they had our number).

I am not trying to place blame with any particular person or entity, (there were many factors that contributed to Sara's demise), and I believe that if Sara was that determined to end her life no one would really have been able to stop her. I just feel that not enough of the 'right' type of outreach took place to help her find her way. There needs to be some sort of check system in place for those who fall outside "normal" guidelines as well as criteria established to help recognize who these people are.

If you think that Sara was the product of a broken home, a child of drug abusers, from a lower class or that her family did not love her or do all that they could to help her you would be wrong on all counts. The truth is that mental illness and drug addiction can strike anyone of any social or economic status at any time. Good homes, good parents and good education improves the advantages for success in life, but is no guarantee. In some ways that insulation from the world - of a religious upbringing, the comforts of middle class or a strict and protective family life may leave a person more vulnerable to the dangers than one who is more familiar with the hard knocks and bumps or the raw deal that some kids get for a family.

I am writing this partly because I hope that by sharing this with others I can not only help people to understand how such a tragedy like this can happen to anyone, but also to reach out and help those who may be in a similar situation.

To those who are dealing with this type of crisis, I just want to say, "You are not alone. Although it may not seem like it, there are many caring and compassionate people who want to help you. Don't give up. There is hope. Don't be afraid to seek help."

I believe that God put every one of us here for a good reason and that each and every one of us is integral to the overall existence, well being and survival of our species and planet. And I also believe that the dual diagnosis of mental illness and drug addiction deserves much more understanding than the label and stigma that it receives.

One last thing: I just want to say, Sara, I am glad and proud to have known you and to have been part of your life.

We all miss you and we'll see you again on the other side.