Good Grandparenting Tips

Most new grandparents think that this relationship is going to be a piece of cake. It is almost a given that grandparents having already gone through parenting think they know what they're doing. That is mistake number one. Raising a baby today is quite different from raising one twenty eight years ago. The ground rules have all been changed on us. Especially where infant safety is concerned. You should never assume that you know how to handle your newborn grand baby based on past experience. That old saying, "mother knows best" no longer applies to you. It applies to the new parents and for very good reason. Chances are when you put your baby to bed all those years ago you placed him on his stomach. Of course, the reasoning was that if the baby should spit up they would not choke on it. Due to the dangers of sudden infant death syndrome and the newest medical information babies are now always put to bed on their backs. If you are knitting a big fluffy blanket for your new grand baby you may need to rethink that gift. New mothers are now encouraged to buy a sleep sack to put the child in to avoid blankets in the crib. Again, this is to safeguard against sudden infant death. Even the standard crib bumper pads are no longer used. Nothing should be in that bassinet except the baby in a sleep sack. No cutesy stuffed animals either. So, before you make a big purchase or get your feelings hurt over the hours of knitting it may have already taken you to knit the blanket make sure you check with the parents first.

It is very important to follow the same safety guidelines that the new parents follow in your own home. Being a loving grandparent is accepting change in how you used to do things. Yes, your adult child now knows more than you in this department. Some parents do not feel the need to use a pacifier for their infant. Even if your own child used to scream for a half an hour if he lost his pacifier it does not mean you must plug one in his child when you are grand babysitting. Never do anything behind the back of the new parents. It just isn't fair and will cause a rift between you and them. It is alright to want to lavish love and nurture your grandchild but it is not alright to undermine the parents priorities. I made a huge mistake last year when my son put his little boy down for a nap at my house. It was Easter and the house was a little busy and the baby was still fussing about fifteen minutes after he was put to bed. I kept hearing him babble on the baby monitor and so up the stairs I went. Forgetting all about the monitor once I got there. My son overheard me say, "oh, why did daddy put you to bed when today is such a special day and you don't seem the least bit tired to me"! I was met halfway down the stairs with the babe in my arms by a very unhappy daddy. "Mom, do you know how cranky he is going to be for us later when we take him home"? I tried so hard to convince him that one day wouldn't hurt without a nap. Unfortunately, the rest of the afternoon held a certain chill in the air and the tension I created actually ruined the day. I learned a big lesson that day. I apologized for being pushy and asked if I could be given one pass as I was a new grandmother and still learning.

From that day on I now ask permission before I dole out a cookie or a juice box. If I am going to grandparent for the day on my own I ask about nap times and feeding routines as they change regularly. Because I did learn that lesson I saved myself ten bucks a few weeks ago. I called to say I had seen a nice car seat at a yard sale for the new baby. I thought it would be good to have one of my own in case of emergency and for convenience. He said, "no mom, don't buy that because car seats have expiration dates now". That was a revelation for sure. Who would have thought a piece of baby equipment could have expired. So, before you toss the attic in search of all those old baby items ask if they are usable. Old cribs are not safe due to the large distance between the bars. Babies can get their heads stuck. Baby proofing your home is something you will have to learn all over again. You will be amazed what they have now.

It's nice to keep some baby things in your home for visits. Be sure and check with the parents about what diapers and wipes they prefer. Many babies are now being reintroduced to cloth diapers with a kick. There are some innovative cloth diapers now that have a cloth insert that sits in a very trendy diaper cover. Everything is washable. They are no longer the old fashioned white rectangles with pins. Some moms want to go green and it is important for you to follow along. If they choose not to use disposables do not have them in your home. Get with their program and you will have a smoother and more enjoyable experience. The feeding of infants is also very parent exclusive. If mom is breastfeeding and you feel unhappy because you can't hold and feed your grandchild get over it. It isn't about you and breast is best anyway. There are plenty of ways to get some one on one time with baby. Offer to do the burping and let mom go relax in the tub. She will love you for it.

Remember how much you wanted to do everything for your own first baby. Make sure you let the new mom of your grand baby have the same opportunity. Sit on the sidelines until you are needed. An offer of help in the house for the new parents would be more welcomed than a stash of gifts and a grab of the baby when you visit. Good grand parenting is attainable with the right attitude and following these few easy tips. Avoiding all the mistakes a new grandparent could possibly make may be a stretch but as long as you are willing to learn it's worth it.