Good Knight Folks

A long, long, long time ago, well maybe not long ago. There was a brave but poor knight that was a bit of a klutz. He defeated the Black Knight by unintentionally stepping on the Black Knight's ingrown toenail during battle, the Black Knight was in so much pain he started jumping around and impaled himself on the klutz's sword. The clumsy knight defeated the evil Witch of the North East by accidentally spilling his drink on her at the Evil/Good mixer at the Eagles Club. (Everyone knows witches melt when they get wet.) Old King Tom Foolery was impressed on how the knight was always able to snatch victory from defeat by stumbling that he dubbed him Sir Klutz.

On the other side of the kingdom was a beautiful lady named Sweet Pea. When Sweet Pea was still a young maiden she refused the advances of a Carnival Gypsy's Son. This angered the Gypsy. The Gypsy placed a curse on Sweet Pea. The curse was that Sweet Pea would only see herself as if she was viewing herself through a Carnival fun house mirror. While everyone saw her for her beauty, she could only see a distorted vision. She also had a great splendor from within that others could see but she was blind to. When people stated how beautiful she was she would make a funny face, because she thought that would make her beautiful.

When Sir Klutz saw Lady Sweet Pea for the first time he stayed to form; he tripped over his own feet. He vowed that he would woo this lady to be his.

Sir Klutz bought Lady Sweet Pea a bouquet of the rare sweet smelling Zee-Zee flowers. This would have been a grand gesture, except that the rare Zee-Zee flowers also attracted bees. Sweet Pea was stung 33 times. Sir Klutz attempting to apologize and appease Sweet Pea by preparing for her an exotically scrumptious chocolate cheese soufflé. Unbeknownst to Sir Klutz and Sweet Pea, they found out she was lacto-intolerant. He bought her a rare round jewel, which Sweet Pea mistook for candy and broke three teeth. He planned a romantic horse ride on the beach, but Sweet Pea was allergic to horses and it rained. Sir Klutz wrote a song and tried to serenade Sweet Pea late one night, but he went to the wrong house.

Does anyone have any ideas how our Noble Knight might win his Lady Love?