Good times on the N Train

Everyone that lives in New York City has his or her own subway horror story. Whether it's getting stuck between stops for hours, bums stinking up entire cars, or other passenger eating smelly tuna sandwiches, it inevitably happens to us all.

Here's one that trumps most.

I had just gotten done playing golf and was headed to Atlantic Avenue in Clinton Hill/Fort Greene. I was on the N train, which is usually one of the nicer, cleaner, and most on-schedule of all the lines.

Since I had just shot 120, I was tired and cranky, and just wanted to rest before I was to meet my friends in Fort Greene Park.

However, an interesting (read, on crack) individual was conversing with a higher power for most of the ride. His dialogue was based on a Chuck Norris movie where he supposedly drank bleach. Unfortunately, a little Google search ex post facto couldn't confirm that this film existed.

Every time the train accelerated, he spoke faster and louder, and as the train slowed, he would quiet down. Once we got to 59^th Street, the train went express. Evidently this did not bode well for this gentleman, as the lack of stops made him get louder and more intense to the point when he started running at passengers and asking if them if he or she had seen this Chuck Norris movie.

Needless to say I had my 7 iron ready. When the train finally came to a merciful stop, he sprinted out of the station and down Washington Avenue, never to be seen again.

I was stressed, anxious and ready for a stiff cocktail after that ride. I was bummed, however, that I never got the name of that movie. Chuck Norris must have that kind of effect on people!