Google Officially Changes Its Name to Topeka

In startling news, Google has changed its name to "Topeka" as of 12:01 a.m. Central Daylight Time, April 1, 2010. Coming as a response to the city of Topeka, Kansas changing its name to "Google", Topeka (formerly Google) CEO Eric Schmidt says the company considered this major move very carefully, knowing that it will affect companies and individuals around the world.

Topeka says that "Googlers" should now be referred to as either "Topekers" or "Topekans," depending on what major movers in the company decide in an emergency board meeting taking place at this writing. Internet surfers will now "Topeka" search results. Gmail will now be referred to as Tmail, and Google Maps will become Topeka Maps. The company now asks that mail now be addressed to Topeka, Inc. but assures consumers that the address will remain the same. As of now, Topeka has no plans to move to Google.

While it will take time to make all of the extensive changes necessary, Topeka (formerly Google) is certain it will be worth it. Google, Kansas (formerly Topeka, Kansas) hopes to benefit from the name change, too. Google's mayor Bill Bunten hopes the name change will draw attention to the city in an effort to gain a spot in Topeka's "Fiber for Communities" project. The Internet giant plans to install new Internet connections in selected locations that are 100 times faster than anything now available. The data transfer rate of the program is said to be 1 gigabit per second.

While Topeka (formerly Google) is flattered by Google's (formerly Topeka's) name change, company officials of the Internet giant insist that it will have no bearing on their decision about where to test their faster Internet connections.

This may be very confusing for millions of people around the world. Children will now have to learn that the capital of Kansas is Google. Adults will have to monitor their conversations, especially in front of children, for proper usage of the word "Google", as in "I Googled (properly, one should say Topeka'd) him to see if he really was a porn film producer like he told me".

For more information, go to Topeka's blog detailing the matter.