Gossip as Teasing: Socially Acceptable or Not?

Can you imagine having just met someone only to later discover that the person habitually repeats everything you say, to everyone the person knows, right in front of you? It has happened to me, and maybe the worst thing about it is this: even the most innocent of remarks can be used against me, or even misquoted, all in the name of "good fun" or "teasing."

Naturally, I am not friends with the person in question, but it had me thinking, why exactly do some people do this? The practice seems to almost be exclusively female, as I have never observed that sort of behavior happen around and with men. As my husband simply said, "Do not talk about anything personal to others you do not know." This is of course common sense in approach, as it can prevent further trouble down the road. Not talking about yourself really is the best way to go here. Having spoken to others about it, they all agree on one thing: they would not be too close with anyone who does repeat everything heard to everyone the person knows. It certainly does not benefit the person who is being gossiped about (most of the time, such gossip can do a tremendous amount of harm and cause the person gossiped about to distrust others on the whole). Of course, the person who is being "teased" about can always talk to the person who is doing it, but can that really guarantee any behavioral change in the person who is gossiping? Sometimes it can, other times, it cannot. As with rudeness and bullying, the common excuse of "That is just her means of communication" may be made, although I have never heard of such a thing before in my life. Nobody communicates by repeating everything they hear to everyone they know unless that person has a serious psychological problem. Acting needy towards someone like that certainly never helps a friendship develop, either, assuming such a friendship is worth the hard work. Not too many people tolerate having their words repeated throughout the entire county. People who are gossips tend to attract only those who tend to be predisposed in behavior to gossip, too.

Since gossip is not socially acceptable by many, it is a paradox as to why such a behavior is widespread. Maybe those who are gossips were never told by others that it is wrong, that what they are doing can hurt someone. Even if they were told, it does not mean the person will actually stop the behavior. Like the bully who thinks rudeness is synonymous with teasing, gossip done in the name of "fun" is never fun to the person on the receiving end, and especially never funny. The person who gossips should never wonder why the person who is gossiped about suddenly decides to terminate the "relationship" (real friends do not gossip about each other). It may take a lot for the gossip to stop and think about why she repeats everything she hears to everyone she knows, but if such a pattern is all too common, then professional help is required. Nobody loves a gossip.