Got Happiness? How to Increase Your Emotional Resiliency

Hit a rough patch in life? In such circumstances, the adage, "try to think positively," can seem like an empty platitude, an upsetting bromide, drivel or worse. Yet, more and more, science is proving with empirical evidence that actively promoting positive emotions benefits health and happiness. Researchers on psychological resilience found that "positive emotions serve a buffering function." Are there specific ways you can help promote positive emotions, and thus, emotional resiliency, in your life?

What is emotional resiliency?

From a psychologist's perspective, emotional resiliency is the capacity of an individual to "overcome negative emotions faster" and to use "coping styles important for resource building." In other words, emotional resiliency is the ability to bounce back from life's major and minor setbacks. Emotional resiliency also is the ability to cope with the setback in a way that draws on sources of positive strength and help in your life.

Erica Boucher, author of "Yoga - A New Approach to Emotional Resiliency," puts it this way: "True emotional resiliency means giving ourselves enough credit to know we can allow ourselves to feel what we need to feel, confident that once we do, and come out on the other side of it, we will be lighter, and stronger and more at ease than ever before."

In The Psychology of Gratitude, authors Emmons and McCullough write that actively promoting the experience of positive emotions in your life generates "an upward spiral toward optimal functioning and enhanced emotional well-being." This "upward spiral toward optimal functioning" is emotional resiliency.

Emotional resiliency, and its benefits, is a proven concept

Around the turn of the 20th century, Johnson Oatman, Jr., wrote a hymn based on a passage in the Bible, Ephesians 1:3. The hymn was called "Count Your Blessings." In the classic film White Christmas, Bing Crosby popularized a similar sentiment with his hit, "Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep."

In the close to 100 years since Oatman wrote his hymn, science has only increased proof of the fact that "positive emotions play a critical role in contributing to psychological and physical well-being." In the article "Psychological Resiliency," the authors found: "Interventions that promote positive emotions are beneficial to health."

Positive emotions are our internal ballast. As Rabbi H. Rafael Goldstein says, there really is no effective substitute for the Serenity Prayer: "learn to accept what you can't change, change what you can, and learn to discern the difference."

Yep, it can take effort to be happier

Like all worthwhile endeavors, especially those of personal change, increasing emotional resiliency takes some effort. And, of course, trying to implement an internal "intervention" --- switching focus away from the negative to the positive --- in the midst of one of life's setbacks can seem especially daunting.

Don't give up! You will gain at least some benefit every time you step away from a negative emotion that has outlived its usefulness. (Yes, experiencing negative emotions is necessary and even healthy at times; the problems begin when negative emotions hang around long after we should have processed them and moved on.) Indeed, according to Science Daily, a new study out of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill shows that "if happiness is something you want out of life, then focusing daily on the small moments and cultivating positive emotions is the way to go."

How to increase your emotional resiliency

Cultivating positive emotions may be as accessible as simply counting your blessings. In another study, researchers assigned participants to one of three groups: "(1) count your blessings, (2) list daily hassles, or (3) control (no directions either way)." What happened? The study concluded that "people who 'counted their blessings' weekly for 10 weeks by listing things for which they were grateful or thankful evidenced better subjective health outcomes, including fewer physical complaints, more time exercising, more hours of sleep, and better sleep quality."

Wow, that's worth repeating! Those who listed things for which they were thankful ended up feeling better physically and emotionally, exercised more, and slept better and longer. This simple endeavor certainly is worth trying for ten weeks "if happiness is something you want out of life." Here are some ideas on how to get started:

Finding things for which to be thankful

Sorry to say, but sometimes life gets so wrenching, it can seem very difficult even to try to find things for which to be thankful. Sometimes this is because we equate thankfulness with "looking on the bright side." To be honest, there are moments and situations which are so awful, it seems useless, if not somehow dishonest and wrong, to try to find something "bright" about them.

So don't, that's my advice. Let that situation ride for a while. The idea of "counting your blessings" means exactly that. It doesn't mean, necessarily, finding a "bright side" to every bad moment in life. Nor does it mean pretending that something that is bad is good. Rather, counting your blessings means not viewing your entire life through that negative event or circumstance. It means backing up and getting perspective; using a wide lens, so that you see the good stuff, too. In fact, research shows that negative emotions actually "narrow one's momentary thoughts and actions." Focusing on positive emotions broadens them.

Use a wide lens to view your life and the world

Listing, or journaling, things large and small for which you are thankful can be a powerful --- and empowering --- experience. For two different explorations of the power of gratitude, and ideas on how to grow that power in your own life, check out Count Your Blessings: The Healing Power of Gratitude and Love, by John F. Demartini, and my favorite, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff --- And It's All Small Stuff, by Richard Carlson. But remember, at bottom, the concept isn't more complicated than the lyrics to that old hymn: "Count your blessings, name them one by one."

(Listen to a snappy, salsa-highlighted version of the hymn, "Count Your Blessings," arranged by Tracy Parker.)

(Listen to Bing Crosby singing, "Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep.")

More B.A. Rogers: Stress Relief Tip: Get Plenty of Vitamin Gand Don't Miss the Babies Eating Lemons Craze!

Sources:

Michele M. Tugade, et al., "Psychological Resilience and Positive Emotional Granularity: Examining the Benefits of Positive Emotions on Coping and Health," National Institutes of Health.

Erica Boucher, "Yoga - A New Approach to Emotional Resiliency," Self Growth.

Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough, "The Psychology of Gratitude," Google Books.

"Count Your Blessings," Joyful Ministries.

Vicki Cabot, "In Stressful Times, Count Your Blessings," Jewish News of Greater Phoenix Online.

"Positive Emotions Increase Life Satisfaction By Building Resilience," Science Daily.

John F. Demartini, "Count Your Blessings: The Healing Power of Gratitude and Love."

Richard Carlson, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff --- And It's All Small Stuff."