Got to Try

I've got to try,
Got to try to make it in this world,
There's got to be a place for me.

Living in the present,
I let my mind go,
out of the past and the future,
that's not my identity.

I feel so lonely
yet I long to be alone,
I feel like a leaf
shocked to the cold.

I fight the changing season,
I do not want to be golden
as after that I wither brown and grow old.

I feel sick
Many days
in my head but I am strong.
I can make it
though I'm brittle
Brittle Bones.

All you know of me
is she is the nice one
The one who smiles
and then goes home.
To be Alone.

I'm not sure if that's me anymore.
The smiling part.
These days, I can't do it anymore.
I have very little to smile about.