Grandma Rose

Folks just kept saying how sad it was and that it just wasn't right and how unfair it was that that would happen to a ten year old. I kept telling them I was nine when it happened, I was nine when I became an orphan. They'd just pat me somewhere like I was a dog or something and walk off muttering how unfair life was for that to happen to a ten year old. I wasn't near old enough to understand adult things but would it have somehow hurt less if I was eleven? Would it have been fair if I was nine? But I was nine and it still wasn't fair.

When I was real small , even before I was nine, I used to hide under the table outside. Mamma would run around calling my name, looking for me in all the wrong places. My giggling would always give me away and she'd find me. She probably knew where I was the whole time.

That is where I was the day everyone came over to say how sorry they all were. An old man stuck his head under the table. His nose and cheeks were so big, his eyes were almost lost. He kept pushing his very small glasses up. Maybe if mamma had been with me we would have laughed at him, but now my heart hurt so bad I couldn't even smile.

"Hi Lilly," he said pushing his glasses up on his big nose. At least he didn't smile. I hated it when grown ups smiled when they didn't mean it. "That's a real nice turtle you got there. What's his name?" I didn't think that old man would understand if I told him his name was thumper. Even if I told him how bad I wanted a rabbit. And then I could tell him that my mamma was allergic to so many things that daddy didn't think a dog was a good idea, but I would have settled for a rabbit. They told me they would surprise me, but I still kept hoping for that rabbit. When they brought me home that turtle I wasn't that disappointed and anyways, I already had the name picked out. I didn't tell him all that, he wouldn't have listened anyways. Grown ups never listened.

"Lilly, I know all this is hard for you to understand, and it is all happening so fast." He looked a bit uncomfortable. "You want to come out and talk to me for a minute?" Maybe I shouldn't, just to see if he would try to fit under there with me.

I sat on the chair next to his on the porch. He hadn't said sorry yet. That's what I was waiting for really, so it took me a little by surprise when he told me I was going to live with my grandma. "It's what your mother wanted." I had my suspicions that he was lying. Mamma could never find anything good to say about her mamma. Every time I asked about her she told me I wasn't old enough to hear those words. That always set my daddy to laughing, I never knew why exactly.

There was such a cloud of mystery about my grandmother. I only knew three things about her. Number one: she owned a hotel, number two: she lived by the ocean, and number three: she loved her garden.

I don't suppose I will ever forget the first time I ever seen my grandma Rose. She was the picture of a mean old lady if I ever saw one. She looked like she came right out of those funny cartoons in the paper. She had on a blue pair of pants and a white shirt with the buttons buttoned all the way up. She wore a very large straw hat that I thought looked a bit ridiculous.

"Is this the girl?" she asked the man with the glasses.

"umm....yes Rose, this is your granddaughter, Lilly." He tried to push me forward a little.

"hmm." She put her glasses on to get a better look at me. " She looks a bit small. Are you sure she is nine?"

"I am ten," I said quietly.

"ten? Your letter said the girl was nine. Is this the right girl?"

"yes. Of course this is the right girl. She just had a birthday."

"Hmm." She started walking towards the house. Were we supposed to follow? Glasses looked down at me like I knew. Grandma rose answered by talking to us again. "this is no place for a child, you know." she started to grumble to herself. " All that family from her husband," she said husband like it was a curse word, " and not one of them would take the girl?"

"well it was Violet's choice that you would take Lilly if anything would happen to her and Michael."

"Hmm."

" There must have been some reason she choose you."

She looked at him sharply. " I run a tight ship around here. It may look like I have money, owning this hotel, but the truth is we barely get by just the way we are. Now you want me to take care of a little girl?" She threw her hands up and continued to the door.

" Well there is the life insurance, Lilly should be no problem."

"I don't want your money!"

" oh no, it is not my....."

" if you are finished I think we will be fine from here on out." She ushered me into the door and let the door shut right in the face of that poor man!

"Your room is on the first floor, along with mine. You are not to be upstairs for anything unless I tell you to be. You will have a list of chores to do. I expect them done everyday. Being that it's summer, there's..... a few more." she fumbled in her pocket for a folded piece of paper. As she held the paper in her hand I wondered if I should reach for it or not, she almost seemed as if she didn't want to give it to me. "I didn't want you here," she looked down at me. "That is no secret." She sighed, resigned to take an unwanted grandchild into her home, but not her heart. I knew I would never be loved by this forgotten grandmother. I stared up at her, and she stared at me. "Now that you are here, you might as well be some use!" She thrust the paper into my hand and continued walking.

The first thing I saw after grandma rose moved was the stairway. It was a grand stairway, I knew it must be what my mamma would call a grand stairway. It was so wide it took up most of the entryway. The marble floor must have been wonderful a long time ago. Somewhere along the way it had lost it's shine and wonder. The stairway wasn't as great as it had once been either, the paint had started to peel and the carpet was worn. Almost behind the stairway was a door. That was where grandma Rose led me.

"These are our living quarters. The top two floors are guest rooms. Your room is the last one on the left, bathroom right before that. The other door is my room, stay out of it. This is the kitchen," she said going through the doorway behind her. There was no door on it's hinges. "The door to the right of the stairs leads to a large room where the guests can eat and watch the TV." She began grabbing things from the cupboards.

"You have a big kitchen. My mamma..."

"You are not allowed to watch the TV. And you don't need to be in my kitchen either." She began chopping onions and I stood there. "You can go to your room. Unpack your things and read your chore list." She didn't look back up.

She didn't even sing, that is what I would tell my best friend Shirley next time I saw her. Grandma Rose didn't even sing when she was cooking. She didn't tell the onions where they were going or anything. She just chopped away, looking so mad.

My room wasn't that exciting, even for a ten year old. It had a bed and a dresser and a lamp. That was it. Practical. There was no window, not even a hint of happiness. I wondered if there was any happiness left in the whole world, probably not.