Grandparents: the Best Entertainment Around

Joan Rivers, Carol Burnett, Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock represent just some of the great comedic talents I have enjoyed over the years. However, I think many of us can probably enjoy great comedy much closer to home. Grandparents can often be some of the funniest people in the world, especially when they aren't trying to be funny.

I was blessed to have known my great-grandmother, my mother's maternal grandmother, very well. I was a young adult when she passed away in 1989, just a few months shy of her 100th birthday. Sharp as a tack until almost the very end she was a walking history book. Raised by her grandparents who had been born into slavery in the 1840s and married to and later divorced from a man who fought in France during World War I (which she always referred to as "the Great War") her life was fascinating. But she also had a wealth of funny stories from her long and varied life as well as a number of quirky habits and quaint beliefs that made for good comedy.

As a younger woman she had held a cook and housekeeping position for a Jewish family named Baum for many years. She would often tell a story of a mishap in Mrs. Baum's kitchen that left her unable to stand the thought of eating sardines. After preparing lunch for the family, which consisted of Mr. and Mrs. Baum and their five teen-aged sons, Mrs. Baum would allow Great-grandmother to eat her own lunch from anything in their kitchen. One afternoon she relates sitting down to a plate of crackers and sardines. "There I was, munching away, sardine, sardine, sardine...MOUSE!?! I let out a scream from the kitchen that caused all the boys to come running. Miss Lula, what's the matter?' And all I could do was point to that mouse stretched out there alongside the sardines that I had just been eating."

So great was the affection of the Baum family for Great-grandmother that, years later the sons continued to keep in touch with cards, letters and photographs. Once when we were visiting, Great-grandmother proudly produced a number of photographs with the boys and their families. "That's Morris, Robert, David, Herbert and John," she began. "Oh, but the boys look so old!" So, my sister asked, "How old are they?" Great-grandmother replied, "Let's see, Morris would be 70, Robert would be 67, David would be 65." Whereupon my sister exclaimed, "Well, Great-grandmother, they have a RIGHT to be looking old!"

Another time we watched in horror as Great-grandmother sprayed WD-40 on her knees, swearing that it was a sure fire cure for arthritis. And during another visit we were sorely afraid that Great-grandmother and Dad were actually going to come to blows as the result of an argument that resulted from Great-grandmother's insistence that the Apollo moon landing was nothing but a hoax.

Fortunately, Great-grandmother and Dad eventually made an uneven sort of truce. After I went away to college and Great-grandmother was no longer able to live on her own she came to live with Mom and Dad. One afternoon when my mother was out, Dad reported that Great-grandmother began talking to him about him, apparently not recognizing who he was. "Yes, my granddaughter has a very nice husband. They've been married for quite a long time now I think. I wasn't so sure about him at first, but he's turned out to be a nice young man."

At times Great-grandmother's verbal skills, even at her advanced age seemed akin to those of a comedian like Don Rickles. When Mom finally had to place her in a nursing home her sharp wit seemed to bring some of the other residents back to life. Great-grandmother shared a room with a lady named Molly. When we first began visiting, Molly mostly slept all the time and never, ever spoke. From day one, Great-grandmother would badger the staff, "What's wrong with her? Why don't she speak?" When I returned for a visit several months later, to my amazement, I saw Molly was sitting up in a chair, quietly answering "Yes" and "No" to Great-grandmother's persistent inquiries. Sadly, however, when Great-grandmother died and Mom went to the nursing home to retrieve her things, Molly was back to her silent, nearly catatonic state.

It has been nearly twenty years since Great-grandmother left us but I continue to remember her sense of humor and her zest for life. And someday I suspect my own grandchildren will wonder why I always smile whenever I see a can of WD-40 or why I can't eat sardines without laughing.