Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

In November 1970 my two sisters and I were adopted by our maternal grandparents. Our mother had health problems that left her unable to raise us on her own. Our biological father left while my mother was still pregnant with me. In 1970 grandparents raising their grandchildren was not as common as it is today. According to the U.S. Census Bureau the number of households where grandparents were raising grandchildren was 2.2 million in 1970. By 1997 that number had risen to 3.9 million.

There are a variety of reasons for a grandparent raising their own grandchildren. It can be due to a death of one or both parents, a parent going to prison, divorce or the emotional immaturity of a teenage parent who is not able to properly care for a child. The highest percentages of children being raised by grandparents are between the ages of 3 through 6. My parents were 50 years old when they adopted me and my sisters. I was just 2 years old at the time. My middle sister was 3 years old and my oldest sister was 4 years old.

Many grandparents have to give up their full-time jobs. They deplete their savings in order to afford to raise their grandchildren. Grandparents can become emotionally drained. They may feel that they have failed as parents themselves because their own children are unable to take on the responsibility of being a parent. Grandparents are usually at a point in life when their lives should be their own again. They have raised their own children and are now looking forward to a less hectic lifestyle. Raising a grandchild means giving up their plans for the future. Some grandparents may become resentful of the situation. Their plans for retirement usually don't include raising their grandchildren.

Grandchildren may need time to adjust to living with their grandparents. A lot depends on the age of the child and the situation that brought them to live with their grandparents. A child that has been in an abusive home or has had a parent or parents that have died may require a longer period of adjustment. An infant or toddler may have little or no memory of their life before they cam to live with their grandparents. This may be the only home they have ever known.

Many grandparents are living on a fixed income which makes it financially difficult to raise a child. It can be very difficult to get any kind of financial support. Sometimes it can take up to 3 months for a grandparent to get any type of financial support. Affording childcare can be a problem for grandparents who are still working outside the home. Grandparents make great sacrifices both financially and emotionally in order to give their grandchildren a loving home. It may become necessary for them to give up social activities. Friends and family members may not understand why the grandparents are taking on the responsibility of raising grandchildren. When my sisters and I were growing up family members were constantly reminding us of the sacrifices our grandparents had made in order to give us a home. Sometimes we were treated like the black sheep of the family, as if it was our idea to be adopted. We were thankful to be blessed with wonderful parents who never once made us feel guilty because they gave up their retirement years to give us a loving home. As we grew up we did realize that our parents had sacrificed so much in order to give us a home where we were loved.

There can also be benefits to raising grandchildren. A majority of grandparents feel that raising their grandchildren gives purpose to their lives. It gives them a chance to nurture the relationship between themselves and their grandchildren. Most grandparents feel that the benefits far out weigh the sacrifices. Children can greatly benefit from being raised by grandparents. Older adults can usually provide a more stable environment and they already have experience in raising children. Grandparents can help their grandchildren connect with their family's history by sharing stories of their own childhood and what life was like back when they were a child.

In a perfect world there would be no need for a child to be raised by grandparents. But we don't live in a perfect world. Thankfully there are grandparents that are willing to make sacrifices so their grandchildren can grow up in a safe and loving environment.

My parents passed away a year and a half ago. Just four months apart. They may no longer be with us, but they left me and my sisters with a lifetime of wonderful childhood memories that we will cherish for the rest of our lives. We are so thankful to them for the sacrifices they made so that three little girls could have a loving home.