Grannie Mae's Christmas Ghost

Once upon a time, there was an old woman named Grannie Mae. Grannie Mae was 79 years old and lived in Hatchet Falls, named after the infamous Lizzie Borden. The day before Christmas, while walking home from the store one day after buying Christmas presents for her family, a little white ghost jumped out from behind a briar patch and roared a "BOOOOOO" at Grannie Mae. The shock startled the little old lady so badly, she started to tilt over, and she fell to the ground with her Christmas gifts scattering all over. However, just when she was about to let out a scream for help, Grannie Mae realized that the little white ghost was only standing there looking at her, with tears running down its transparent face.

Almost moved to tears herself, Grannie Mae asked the tearful ghost, "What's wrong, little guy?"

The ghost, who couldn't speak words out loud, pantomimed what had happened to him.

At that moment, Grannie Mae decided to keep the little white ghost as her best friend.

"Would you like to come home and live with me? I have plenty of room. You would be just fine there and no one will make you cry. You are also much quieter than a puppy."

After Grannie Mae had explained what she wanted to do, the little ghost was moved to more tears, but this time they were tears of happiness. It seemed that the older and bigger ghosts had thrown him out of their haunted house because he was so sad looking and never scared anyone. Grannie Mae knew she could make the little ghost happy, and on the way home, she decided to name her new friend "Dusty Up".

When Grannie Mae and her new ghostly friend picked up all the scattered presents and finally arrived home. Guess who was standing on the front porch? That's right. It was Grannie Mae's daughter, Beckie Boone. Moreover, man - was she surprised to see a little white ghost following her momma into the yard!

''What in world is that?'' shouted Beckie, jumping behind the porch post.

''It's a little white ghost'', answered Grannie Mae.

''Doh! I can see that, Grannie Mae, but what on earth is it doing here?'' asked Beckie.

''It's my new friend and his name is Dusty Up Ghost!'' answered Grannie Mae. "He's coming to live with me."

''Oh you think so do you?'' remarked Beckie. ''I wouldn't get your hopes up to high. You know how your son hates ghosts. Nevertheless, I suppose you can let him visit until Richie gets home from work.''

With that, Grannie Mae grabbed Dusty Up by the ghost's hand (or where it would be if Dusty Up had been a live person) and led her new ghost friend into the house. Even though she knew her son was probably going to disapprove, it was always worth the risk and he might not care. However, truth be told, he was probably going to turn as white as a sheet once he got a gander at her new translucent friend. She thought that maybe she should just keep Dusty Up away from him. After all, what you can't see, you can't know about, right?

Once in the house, Grannie Mae and Dusty Up played hide and seek, but they soon gave that up because Dusty Up could become invisible and that gave him an unfair advantage. Then they added ornaments to the Christmas tree and wrapped all of the presents Grannie Mae had just bought. Then they sang Christmas carols until Grannie Mae's favorite television show, ''CSI'', started. At that point, Grannie Mae made herself a Christmas hot toddy and soon forgot all about Dusty Up having an unsupervised run of the house. You know how those almost octogenarian old ladies could be very forgetful.

That is until half way through ''CSI'', when Grannie Mae was brought back to reality when she heard her son shout, ''Damn!! Grannie Mae! Get your butt in the dining room...NOW!!''

"Tsk", she thought to herself. These youngun's just have no respect for their elders.

With that, Grannie Mae rushed into the dining room to see what all the fuss was about. When she entered the dining room, there stood her son, Richie, pointing toward the desk.

''Will someone please explain that?'' asked her son.

Then, as Grannie Mae followed her son's finger to where it was pointing, she instantly knew why Richie was so upset. There, smack dab in the middle of the desk, was the biggest pile of what appeared to be steaming (it was just ghostly, but Richie didn't realize that) ghost doo-doo she had ever seen!

''I don't EVEN want to know how that got there,'' said Richie. ''But I know you are involved somehow and you had better get it cleaned up right now! Moreover, you had better get rid of whatever it is that could have done such a thing!'' Richie stomped away, muttering under his breath about black mini-skirts and pink hair.

Grannie Mae giggled. Last year, when she dyed her hair pink and dressed up like a hooker and stood out in front of Richie's house, it was funny how people honked their horns and gawked at her. How odd, though, a couple of the guys did stop and offer her money, but she turned them down saying she just didn't have the stamina to really do that anymore. She didn't think Richie had ever forgiven her for that - since they always seemed to need money. Although, just wait until she dyed her hair yellow, bought a red and gold sequin-sparkled fairy costume, and when she could grant wishes and do other magical things. She planned on walking around the neighborhood and turning all the dogs and cats into ponies and unicorns.

In the meantime, knowing her son as well as she did, Grannie Mae knew there was no sense even asking her son if she could let Dusty Up stay. Unless? She stood a moment and thought, tapping her feet. "Ah!" she said. I know what to do! Therefore, without hesitation, Grannie Mae set out to find where Dusty Up was hiding. After a few minutes of looking, Grannie Mae discovered Dusty Up crouched beneath the table that Grannie Mae did her weekly Bible reading. ''Come on, Dusty Up, it's time to find you a permanent hiding spot. Hey, don't look at me that way, I'm not the one who did the dirty deed on the desk!'' scolded Grannie Mae. ''Thanks to you, I'll have to hide you in order to let you stay!!

And, with that statement, Grannie Mae led Dusty Up to the stairs located in the living room and led him up into the attic. Attics were always a good place to hide a ghost and Grannie Mae knew Richie would think the sounds he heard was just the old house settling - or his momma's old bones creaking. If he asked about anything, she would just say it's "Dusty Up 'stairs" and she wouldn't be lying. Grannie Mae cackled and whooped when she thought about that.

The two new friends explored the attic. Grannie Mae found a little Christmas tree that was made of glass and already decorated with lights and Christmas ornaments. She plugged it in and the tree spun on its platform and played Christmas songs. Dusty Up clapped his hands with glee.

Grannie Mae hugged the little ghost the best she could, meaning she put her arms around him and hugged herself. "Merry Christmas, Dusty Up. Welcome to your new home!" The little ghost once again had tears running down his face, but this time Grannie Mae took the end of her skirt and wiped the tears away.

Grannie Mae beamed. "I also have a present for you. Whenever you want to, you have permission to sneak into my son's bedroom and scare him. All you have to do is stand in the room until he sees you, then you just fade away. In fact, it will be a Christmas present for both of us!" Once again, the two friends had a big hug.

So after showing Dusty Up where to hide and making him promise to sleep during the day and to not to come out except late at night when Grannie Mae's son was sound asleep, she went back downstairs. She stopped in the kitchen to get a drink of water, and then decided she really needed another Christmas hot toddy and drank four of them quick as a flash. She excitedly thought about how she would get to spend part of Christmas night playing with Dusty Up (since he could no longer come downstairs), but they would have a Christmas party all to their selves.

Still, she was very sad that Dusty Up wouldn't be able to have Christmas with the rest of the family; however, Grannie Mae's pity party came to an abrupt end when her son walked into the room. Glaring at her, he pointed his finger at the dining room, which reminded her about the mess she had neglected to clean up. Midway through the clean up (which was rather easy since it was ghost poo), Grannie Mae suddenly thought about the attic and thankfully realized her son was allergic to dust and would never voluntarily go up there. She giggled as she thought about how big that pile of doo-doo was going to get. It was going to be a great Christmas for both her and her new Christmas ghost.