Grants - Serious Business- for You- Getting Versus Writing

First off, notice this article isn't called, "grant writing," and the reason is simple, there is a world of difference between grant getting, and grant writing. Anybody who is trained in the research process can write a grant- getting the grant, on the other hand is a whole 'nother set of "stuff"- that's probably the best way to describe it, and, it's the difference between having the bucks, and having-air. Air is good, you have to have it to breathe and write grants. Good luck surviving on it though- so "getting the grant" is much superior to writing the grant.

"Well that's just glorious Dana but somebody has to write it..."

Somebody will, it's just not that hard, although here is a clue, to the uninitiate, you never spill that particular kettle of beans; it's called "managing their expectations," and on this point let's be perfectly clear; you better manage their expectations or you will play the dickens catching up to that train. What's involved is very simple, to anyone who isn't in the profession, of writing a grant, it goes like this (done to the tune of "Doo Dah, Doo Dah..." you know that one, right?) "Oh wow, well that will really take some doing. "Yes, yes, I certainly do understand that you need the money. Yes you are right, it certainly seems that somebody should understand what a crisis it is for you to have to___________________(here you insert their crisis). You bet I'm gonna get on that right away- just wanted to let you know it will be a couple of weeks before we have a real clear picture of whether or not it's going to happen."

Now that's all song and dance, because it will take all of about three hours to check every know database in the universe to address their particular flavor of punch, but don't EVER let that one slip to them. If you don't understand that paragraph, e-mail me right away, before talking with your client, you need some help in managing client expectations. Another great source on this is to listen to politicians; they are masters at saying nothing while their lips are moving. This brings us 'round to politics. What we want to pretend is that politics doesn't enter into the picture, and that the great and urgent need is what makes the decision about our grant- might be time to wake up and smell the coffee cookin'.

"Well OK, but wow, you sound kinda uptight and jaded about the process..."

Let's remember, if you get the money, it doesn't matter how your advisor sounded, does it? Our football coach used to punch metal cleats into our derrieres' explaining to us the merits of a low body form while approaching the dirt from which one would push himself up. Quite the scientist our coach...oh yeah. So bear in mind, that a proper lunch, a properly thought out card or book, following on the heels of a nice phone call to request assistance, may carry more weight than you realize. Did you catch that- e-mail, then phone call, e-mail - very useful if used effectively, which we'll discuss in article two of this series, and then, the phone, connecting your voice to the e-mail. See the process there? Writing e-mail is without flesh and voice, unless you use audio e-mail that isn't a good idea with government types, they may not have sound on their Dell. So as you continue to read in this series, the next one is called, "Grant writing, a contact sport"- let me encourage you to find clients and find wealth, great clients are the key to great wealth in grant writing. See you next article...