Gray Hair. The "New" You?

I began coloring my hair in the late 60's. I was an art student, creative, and looking for a change. I admit to not being a "self image" perfectionist at the time. Donning jeans with flag patches, Granny glasses, no bra and Cher hair was the fashion statement of the decade. In walked Sun In, the new hair lightener that came straight from the spray bottle. M&M's orange didn't hold a candle to my hair.

The urge passed. In the mid 70's a second fad snuck in, frosted hair. At 22 I was pregnant and unhappy that my ,once, 112 lb frame had blown up to the size of Baby Huey's ankle. I was in need of, yet, another change. Looking back pregnancy was not a plausible excuse for a young lady to age herself prematurely. Reducing my locks from a Cher-doo to a Mia cut was my only recourse. Yes, you ladies know what I'm talking about. May the devil be your advocate if you're still frosting your hair.

Thirty was only a blink away. There they were. Shelves full of anything and everything imaginable for changing your hair color. I will admit to being a "hippy" and with that title I did smoke my share of the magical bush. Had I been aware of the dangers of permanent cell damage ,I imagine, I may have stepped away from the aisle. I was drawn in like a fly to meat hanging in the Nevada sun.

L'Oreal Preference 5A Light Brown. Wait a second.... L'Oreal Preference 5B Light "Ash" Brown, Miss Clairol 40D with a notation: For baby boomers demanding 100% gray coverage. I was going to that one go but the number 40D and babyboomer women had a certain ring to it. Nice & Easy Dark Brown 131, Medium Auburn 5R, Burgundy 5RV, Medium Golden Brown 56M, Medium Bronze Brown, Golden Brown, Nutmeg Brown...where is my #1Mousy Brown! I picked one. It's been a while and I'm sure it took some time to find the right "blend." I've been coloring my hair ever since. Until the "awakening."

I read an article about hair color. No it wasn't the one about dye seepage into your scalp and causing cancer. I'd prefer to smoke my way into that disease. Are you ready? Did you know Gray was the "new" in color? Along with this article were celebrity photos of, in contradiction to the article itself, mostly men. Intriguingly enough the article pointed out some of the evils of coloring your hair. It looks fake, women worry about the roots showing and dye stains on your forehead. I love the dye stain part. There are reflective wall devices in which one could conquer this issue. The author of the article, Caroline Howard, states:

"What I discovered is that if you're young and you have gray hair, people do think you look older. But once you are in your 40s and 50s, gray hair doesn't actually age you. And so far no one has offered me a seat on the subway or a senior citizen's discount. But they do look at me as a mature member of our culture. And that's kind of swell. I don't feel old. I don't think I project old. But I also don't look like I'm trying to be 30."

The use of the word "swell" should have sealed the aging deal right then and there. Ms. Howard continued:

"Gray hair used to be associated with grandmotherly types. Think Barbara Bush or Queen Elizabeth. That's hard for my demographic. But now so many of the women I see with gray hair are chic with great haircuts and interesting personal style. It's not about "letting your self go." It's about saying, I'm going to invest my energy and my money in a different way. All those years dyeing my hair added up to $65,000, not adjusted for inflation. If I had invested that money, today I would have $300,000, enough to pay for both my daughters to go to private colleges."

There are a couple of things here I'd like to address. The first, I've never one had private thoughts about Barbara Bush or Queen Elizabeth. Who would?Secondly, if you've spent $65,000 between the ages of 30-40 to color your hair, you've either been ripped off by your stylist or you are to damn lazy to browse CVS.

"The majority of men don't care about gray hair on women as much as we do. If a woman's overall persona is attractive, they could care less. It's a little bit like the proverbial: Does my butt look too big? A lot of men think "We like that!" Much of our insecurities are informed by what we see in the media. We don't see very many sexy, interesting role models out there. There's Helen Mirren -- just look at her smile and sense of comfort in her body and clothes. What's not to love? The sort of images we tend to see are the 'Desperate Housewives' view of what 40 can be like, let alone 50."

I challenge any man to admit he doesn't want a younger, more vibrant looking, sexier woman on his arm. It seems a strategically placed bag over Ms. Howard's head may have saved her the pain she's been enduring over the past few years. The kicker in this article came when asked, of Ms. Howard ,if men were really all that forgiving when it came to gray hair:

"What it really boils down to is confidence, a sense of comfort in your body. Who wants to be with a person screaming a bunch of insecurities and feeling unsure of them selves? Gray hair color is a very vocal symbol of "I acknowledge who I am and I'm happy about it."

I had a talk with my husband the other night about my hair color. I'm happy to admit that I'm in my mid 50's, a grandmother of two, run two businesses and am more active than a prostitute on 6^th Ave. Yet, I still wanted to know.

"Hon, do you think I should let my hair go gray?"

"Whatever you want"

"Hon, I have roots. I need to make a decision soon and would like your input."

"Whatever you want"

"Hon, they say women with gray hair exude more self-confidence. What do you think?"

"Whatever you want"

"Look HON! I'm trying to have a dialogue with you. This is important. Would you like me gray?"

"Whatever you want."

HON!!!!! Is my ass fat????"

"I really do think it's nice that people think I married a younger woman."

"So I should color my hair?"

"No lose some ass."

This week I joined Gold's gym and bought L'Oreal Preference #6.