Great Ideas to Help Kids with Long Distance Relationships

Last year, my husband and I packed up our four children and moved five states away from our family. It was such a hard decision to move, for that very reason...family. Like so many, our family was our support group and we do miss them. But a bigger blow is watching our children miss their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. It just isn't the same when birthdays are missed, familiar faces coming in and out and playmates for two time a week (or more) "all" families dinners. Yes, this year we have tried so many things to keep the bond tight...as if we still live in town.

As a parent, there are so many things you can do to foster a great relationship between your children and your parents even when you are far away. There are also things that can keep sibling-like cousins on the minds of your kids, in their thoughts and close to their hearts. Here are a few things that really worked for us this year - in helping the kids feel like their community family is still close day to day.

Encourage the child to call their grandparent. If I call my mother and say, "Hi Mom, John wanted to talk to you." It is very different than John, my son, calling her himself and saying, "Hi Grandmother, this is John." As young as age 4, your child can introduce themselves on the phone. They may need your help dialing but that's it. By them calling the grandparent is instantly engaged, honored and interested. They will protect your child's feelings and take a minute for the call.

More than a Phone Call
Of course, picking up the phone and calling is a no-brainer. But, it is more than that. Kids are not like adults. I can talk to my mom 2 times a week and feel totally connected. But we talk forever. Many smaller children need short, frequent spurts. So, keep that in mind, as you try to think of reasons to call - to promote communication. It is as good for the person they are calling, as it is for the child! They feel the love that used to be popping in, or picking up from school...it's just on the phone.

You may have to instigate your child calling. But, insist that you don't kick the conversation off. Resist the urge to say, "Hey mom, it's me...John has something he wants to tell you." Grandparents just aren't as happy to hear from you as they are your children (at least in my experience - ha.) In addition, they don't feel like your child is being made to call, or prompted. A child as young as 5 should understand how to use the phone and introduce themselves. The goal is to get them comfortable picking the phone up and calling on their own, when they need someone to talk to. And no one is going to love them, or point them In a direction that is good for them, like a family member who cares.

The simple practice is creating a support group for your child, and a relationship with their grandparents that will serve them well. Also, it shouldn't be a chore. Look for "everyday" moments to phone Granny. For example, if your child says, "What should I do my speech on?" Prompt them by saying, "You should call your grandma, she has great ideas." This engages Grandma in everyday moments that she may miss if you are not in town, often busy or not in close contact with in-laws.

Screen Savers and Digital Frames
Pictures of your children with their grandparents, cousins or those they miss will help remind them of the good times and keep them feeling connected. Two creative ways to accomplish this are to make the screen saver of your family computer (or the computer your child sees a lot) a picture of them with their extended family. Try and rotate the picture weekly. The simple visual reminder of that person in the picture they pass, all lit up, everyday keeps them on the forefront of the child's mind.

Digital Frames also will rotate pictures. This is great for a child's room. A photo album may only get picked up a few times a week (At most). But, a digital frame is an active reminder of many moments and can hold hundreds of photos. These days, Wal-Mart, Target, Best Buy and Amazon all carry digital frames at a reasonable price.

Blogging Babies
When we moved many states away, I decided to maintain a blog for my family to keep them abreast what is going on in our lives, and assist them in feeling connected to my kids as they grow. I had never made a blog and was a little intimidated by the process, but I knew so many people that had one, I figured how hard can it be? In fact, I had so much fun with the blog thing, I taught my 6 year old twins how to make a blog. We use Blogger.com, and it is very user friendly in set up and free. There are lots of free blog sites that walk you right through the set up process.

Both of them are 7 now and can log on, create and edit a post, and load a picture to their blog with ease. I still assist and ask them to tell me when they are updating it because they are little and I want to remind them of safety rules (mainly not revealing their last names, birthdays, location) etc. And in Blogger Options, you can limit who can see the blog. So, you can protect your child, allowing only family to view their blog.

Blogging has also served as a great learning tool. We review their work and I can say, "Does that title really capture what you wrote about? A title should." Or "Uh Oh...did you use spell check?" Using spell check helps them identify words they spelled wrong, then allows them to pick from a list to correct the word. Lastly, it allows me to teach them things like, using a new paragraph to separate different subjects etc. It's challenging for a first grader and they love their blogs. I let them pick colors and help them select gadgets. Their blogs are really a neat reflection of who they are - all in their own words and choppy little sentences (or enormous run-ons. But I pick my battles!)

Would you believe their blogs have more hits than mine now? All of their cousins check their blogs 3 and 4 times a day and aunts and uncles love hearing from them, in their own childlike "voice."

There are so many ways to keep in touch in this day and age. But in summary, training your child to call people that love them, even for the little things, is the greatest communication builder to promote. Keeping picture reminders of good times and loved ones, through screen savers and digital rotation frames are great for the visual child. Last, teach your child a new skill they can be proud of, that the whole family (no matter how far away) can share with them daily. These things will keep the support group close at heart, even though miles away. Family is worth it!