Great Quotes About Death and Taxes

Benjamin Franklin said, "The only things certain in life are death and taxes." I'm not so sure about that. I think it's pretty certain that you'll get a chuckle out of one or two of the following quotations about Death and Taxes:

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax." -- attributed to Albert Einstein

"If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation." -- Farmer's Almanac

"The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward." -- John Maynard Keynes

"Death and taxes may be certain, but we don't have to die every year." -- Unknown

"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button." --
Sam Levenson

"Optimist: Someone who sets aside two hours to do his income tax return." -- Unknown

"I wouldn't mind paying taxes -- if I knew they were going to a friendly country." -- Dick Gregory

"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." -- Herman Wouk

"Tax reform means, 'Don't tax you, don't tax me. Tax that fellow behind the tree.'" -- Russell Long

"The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love." -- Joe E. Lewis

"I don't mind dying, the trouble is you feel so bloody stiff the next day." -- George Axlerod

"It used to be that death and taxes alone were inevitable. Now there's shipping and handling." -- Bert Murray

"Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead." -- Scottish Proverb

"I never see the prettiest thing -
A cherry bough gone white with Spring -
But what I think, 'How gay 'twould be
To hang me from a flowering tree.'" -- Dorothy Parker

"Indoors or out, no one relaxes
In March, that month of wind and taxes,
The wind will presently disappear,
The taxes last us all year." -- Ogden Nash

"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has." -- Will Rogers

"The report of my death was an exaggeration." -- Mark Twain (after reading his own obituary)

"The taxpayer -- that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination." -- Ronald Reagan

"People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women." -- Unknown

"The United States is the only country where it takes more brains to figure your tax than to earn the money to pay it." -- Edward J. Gurney

"There is a difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist -- the taxidermist leaves the hide." -- Mortimer Caplan

"Death and taxes and childbirth. There's never any convenient time for any of them." -- Margaret Mitchell

"On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down." -- Woody Allen