Greatness by Association

So you want to get elected into a political office?. Well, since I don't have much use for my advice, I'll give it to you. Cultivate close associations with the "great" or the near great. If you cant, there is an easier way, but works just as well, get yourself a "famous" relative! It will help if the relative is a famous actor who is married to an even more famous actress. Maybe a dead princess will do the trick even better and will be most helpful to your candidacy. Furthermore, dead people can't disagree or prove you wrong, right?Even better I you can get a third party who is supposed to be an expert in genealogy to make the claim for you. It will distant you from the stupid irrelevant claim and you will not look as if you are desperate to get yourself elected into that particular office. Of course, you are desperate, but you just have to keep it under wraps until after you have taken your oath of office, granting, for the sake of argument, that you will indeed win.

Whatever happened to "do your best and you can forget ancestors" you wonder... Let me tell you that it is still relevant, however its relevance is usually not given enough importance by polittical candidates in their mad dash to get ahead of the political race. The insanity of the race is proportional to the level of the office at stake. The higher the office sought, the "madder "the dash and the more irrelevant the means employed. The case in point is: what is the relevance of your relations, blood or otherwise, to an actor or even a dead princess, to your competence or incompetence in running for a particular office? Of course, everyone in our global village is related! Darwin did theorized that we are all descended from apes, right? As for the pious among us, they staunchly believe that we are all created in the image and likeness of God. Although if the foregoing was true, how come mankind is so pathetic? We are even more so during election period when the political circus came to town.

Anyway, while you are in the subject of concocting or inventing a famous relative, why not get them to endorse your candidacy? It will be great to hear the "fact" of your being related from your famous "relatives" themselves. Now, this is where your being related to a dead princess will not serve you well. While the dead cannot disagree or debunked your "relatives theory ," the dead also cannot endorse. A dilemma for those who are not good at lying or misrepresentation, but not for you and your "supporters."

Finally, get a political columnist to feature you in his column saying" every thinking man(meaning himself) should vote for you.

PS when you make your speech let it be an appeal to every "intelligent voter "(meaning those who will vote for you).