The seven foot tall basketball player is apparently proportional in every respect. It shouldn't be much of a surprise since he is seven feet tall after all. That is a big person. What is a surprise is his almost immediate apology for the picture getting out. Granted, it probably wasn't the smartest move taking the shot in the first place. Naked celebrity photos seems to be in high demand as of late. However, arguably he wasn't trying to attract attention to himself. He surely didn't anticipate the photo going public although he should have.
What makes the apology entertaining is the fact that he probably didn't have to. Instead, he seems to be answering the collective gasp of those men who are professionally associated with him. Think about it. Who amongst us brave souls of the male gender and average height would be willing to stand next to Mr. Oden in the showers. I'm not suggesting there are any men you would be willing to stand next to in the showers. However, if you had to. I mean, if your life depended on it. There are those you would be less inclined to stand next to than others.
The male ego is a powerful thing. I'm not suggesting that there aren't men out there who are perfectly comfortable with their "stature" even if it happens to be only a fraction the size of that of Greg Oden's. What should be noted is that men in power positions often have fragile egos. I would imagine that there were some high ranking officials in the Portland head office who after stumbling across Mr. Oden's photo quietly thought to themselves, "I wouldn't want to be seen showering next to Greg."
Therefore we return to the question of the apology. In reality, Greg Oden didn't do anything wrong. The taking of his photo is not a crime. Arguably, giving it to his girlfriend at the time is not a crime. In fact, the wrong may have been done by those who circulated it without his consent. The photo itself is not wrong. It is nothing more than an innocuous depiction of the human form. In fact, it may be effective if placed appropriately in a window to deter a would-be insecure burglar.
So what is he apologizing about? Simple. He is apologizing for making everyone else feel uncomfortable. Most people have not been blessed in the many ways that he has in his life and most, men in particular, do not take kindly to having it rubbed in their faces, so to speak. He gets to make huge amounts of money playing a game that he loves. He is apologizing for appearing to boast, although unintentionally, about another aspect of his privileged life. He is hoping that everyone will feel a little less uncomfortable and hopefully a little more understanding of his misfortune. He is doing it for the fans of the game because they are the reason anybody cares about this story in the first place.
Published by sam clemens
comedy and satire writer View profile
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