Grieving Parents: Trying to Survive the Loss of a Child

Learning to live after your child dies is the most emotionally difficult experience a parent will ever endure. It does not matter how or who. We all feel the deep loss when our children die. We all experience the why's and what if's? We have no answers as to why and we beat ourselves up over the what if's. We all dream of our children and even though they have died, we always see someone that reminds us of our baby.

No matter how young or old. Our children will always be our babies. They are the babies our hearts and souls mourn, yearn and search for.

Everyday, heartbreakingly, a child dies and a mother cries. Everyday of the year a mother misses her child that died. Everyday, somewhere, a mother faces another day without her child. Everyday a mother prays for her child. Everyday a mother wonders if her child will open the gates of heaven for her. Everyday a mother wonders if there is truly life after death. I know this, because, I am one of these mothers.

Everyday a sibling cries for the sibling that died. Everyday a sibling yearns for that best friend they lost. Everyday a sibling says "Shh, Mommy Don't Cry. It's Ok Mommy. I'm here mommy" Everyday a sibling grieves the loss; the loss of their sibling, the loss of their mommy's heart, the loss of laughter that once filled their world. Everyday the surviving sibling wonders why them and not me. Everyday somewhere a family suffers the loss of a child...I know this, because, my children are these siblings.

Everyday, somewhere a child dies and someone's heartbreaks. Everyday, somewhere, a child grieves the loss of the best friend. Everyday, somewhere society experiences the grief from the loss of a child. I know this because, because my children that died had best friends, teacher, neighbors and a town in love with them.

That day and the days that followed will forever be etched into my memory. Grief forever imprinted within the dark shadows of my eyes.

I know, I am not alone in this walk of grief and loss. I do not mourn alone, nor, do I yearn for my children, alone. In advance, I am so sorry for your loss and please know there are many, and while there deaths were caused by different events or similar situations, we all feel part of us died the day our child left.

There are grief groups available and I have sought them out because I wanted answers to why this happened to me. I soon discovered that I really was not all alone in my thoughts or feeling.

Compassionate Friends: www.compassionatefriends.com

I became a member of compassionate friends a few months after my children past. I found compassionate people who also lost a child. You can share your story or you can choose to pass...I passed the first couple of meetings because I wanted to hear others stories and I wanted to lend a hug to someone who cried just as I did. Then I felt welcomed and I shared my story. Compassionate Friends taught me so much about love and how hurt, hurts and everyone heals in different ways, but even as we heal we still mourn the loss and here I have friends that share in my loss just as I share in theirs. We are connected forever.

Hospice: http://www.hospicenet.org/

Hospice too, has helped my children and I. They offered counseling for my sons during school and Friends counseling which we attended every other week. My children realized they were not alone in their feelings as they shared with the group with other children. It helped them to understand grief and that it was ok to cry and it was ok for mommy and daddy to cry too. The saw they were not alone because other little ones like them lost a loved on too.

In closing, I offer my condolences and a heartfelt tear for your loss as well as your families.