Grinder

With the Monday nighter still to play.

With Tuesday morning looming.

Mike owed $120,600 to Lou Vitti with the Monday nighter still to play, with Tuesday morning looming.

All because of the greatest weekend of NFL betting in Las Vegas history.

The legbreakers had it good for a long time, but never, ever, like this. 16 games. Eleven featured games of 6 1/2 points or better; six were in double-digits. The favorites were already looking playoff-bound; the dogs were already on the clock for next season's draft. Three of the remaining five (Chicago/Green Bay, Dallas/Washington, and Pittsburgh/Baltimore) were the kind of fan-loyalty slugfests that practically guaranteed equal money bet, regardless of the records.

And then the world ended.

None of the six double-digit favorites covered. Not one. Of the six dogs in those games, one (Cleveland) had as many as two victories by kickoff. Four of the double-digit dogs won outright (one in overtime), and the other two covered easily, one of which featured a last-second cover: an NFL-record 67 yard field goal by a former Premiership goalie moonlighting with Denver. Of the five remaining games at 6.5 or better, three ended up as push bets - the dog equaled the spread, thus no money exchanged hands. Of the other two, both were outright victories for the underdogs.

That was the bad news for the suckers in Vegas. Vegas. They just take your house and your car when you can't pay up in Vegas.

Lou Vitti?

He takes things that are a little more sentimental when you don't pay up. He took Johnny LaShard's daughter and started mailing her back to him a finger at a time and charging double the juice for every day unpaid (and digit sent) until LaShard robbed three liquor stores and a donut shop in one afternoon to get ahead of the $17,000 and change he owed; Johnny's lucky that Sing-Sing is overcrowded and his sentences are running concurrently. The kid is lucky that she's only missing two pinkies and a ring finger, but Lou always had a soft spot for kids.

JeMal Whaley? He got a video with his wife's name on it.

After he watched the video, he tore his eyes out with his hands and wandered out into traffic, where he got crushed by a cement mixer.

Jeezus.

Lou Vitti happens to other people, like cancer or the IRS.

The radio squawked; 211 in progress.

Time to go to work.

Jeezus.