Grocery Cart Alert: A Guide to Cold and Flu Avoidance

Many do not know that in 1936 Sylvan Goldman and a mechanic named Fred Young started to invent the grocery cart. Of course, the need for the grocery cart was purely one of selfish greed. Goldman wanted people to put more of his products in some sort of apparatus and carry them home. He knew bags and arms just weren't big enough. What he did not know was that he and his mechanic friend, Fred, were inventing one of the most infectious vehicles known to man.

Basically, the following actions occur in all grocery carts all over the world. Take a look and then remember.

1) Most children put their mouths on the handles of the carts. Oh, come on, you've seen them, slobbering, chewing, teething their little baby mouths through the plastic. "Now, Twila, stop chewing on that, you precious thing!!" Precious thing is loaded with germs, and we all know it.

2) Another well-known, but little thought about fact is that little children wear diapers. Yes, they do. And those diapers often leak. When they do, this, umm, leakage can seep onto the grocery cart- later infecting any fresh foods you might casually throw into your cart. Oh, what a flu that will make!

3) People like to touch their noses, eyes, foreheads, and cheeks. After a ride through the grocery store, handling the grocery cart--those little germs find a home in your nose, eyes, foreheads, and cheeks. You can then find yourself at home for a week or so with your friendly cold or flu. If you are kind you will share the cold or flu with the rest of your family, thus creating a nice, quality homey atmosphere that you will remember for years to come.

4) Goodness, let's face it, we shouldn't just blame the children when it comes to grocery carts. Those of us over 29 often make the mistake of putting foods that are leaking in our carts, thus opening up the opportunity for diseases such as E-coli and crushed bread bag syndrome.

5) The place where the grocery cart sleeps. The grocery store, itself, is filled with those units that spread doom, gloom, and illness everywhere. That's right. The human being. Those, that sneeze without covering their noses. Those, that never wash their hands with an antibacterial soap. And, finally, those, who get around those who are 6 years old on a daily basis. Can we, as a nation, stop this custom before its too late? I doubt it- but there are a few things we can do.

The next time a visit to the grocery store becomes mandatory, wear latex gloves. Granted, this might seem inconvenient, but if you want to avoid illness, a little nuisance here and there should be all right with you.

If you are concerned about the spread of germs through children, perhaps you could write your local, state, or federal government officers. Since they are so often responsive to the needs of the American people, a cause such as this should be right up their alley.

Essentially, though, the most important thing to realize is that if you want to avoid colds and flu in winter you will probably have to send out for all your food and toiletries. This could be the beginning of a whole new industry. Who knows, the next Sylvan Goldman might just be you.