Grocery Sackers, Before They Fell in Love

Tall and scrawny
Short sleeves, Tasmanian Devil tie
Big white smile, slightly droopy eye
Dark blonde hair slicked down
Faded green apron double-tied
Crooked name tag-Hi, I'm Dan
Pushing carts, twelve at a time
Paper or plastic, ma'am?
Don't smash my bread!
Pouring bad milk down the drain
Tossing boxes into the compactor
Clean up on aisle three
Sweeping up a shattered pickle jar
Filling the pop machine
Doing go-backs*
Taking over for Aaron on drive-up duty**
Emptying break-room trash
Mopping the floors

Too busy to notice the new girl
Her Catholic school uniform
Khaki kilt and white ankle socks
Long blonde hair, sixteen years old
I need a price-check on register four
Unstained, fresh green apron
Clean name tag-Hi, I'm Maria
Separating non-foods from the foods***
What's the code for Macintosh apples?****
Grimacing at the leaky package of bloody steaks
Wiping hands on her apron
Sacking boxed dinners and canned beans in paper
(but gallons of milk in plastic, just like the lady wants)
Be very careful with my eggs, honey

D.J., go on break
Dan rolls his eyes, hates that nickname
Grabs donuts and strawberry milk
Pays cash at express register two
Smiles at Maria on his way to the break room

She smiles back
Going on break?
Yep
She notices his hazel eyes for the first time
Very pretty eyes

She doesn't start blushing till he's gone

Thank you, sir
Have a nice day

*******
Notes from a Former Grocery Sacker

*"Doing go-backs"-putting away all the items that customers returned or decided they didn't want at check-out-was one of my favorite jobs as a grocery sacker. The worst jobs were cleaning the toilets and emptying the break-room trash. I'll never forget the horrific smell of that trash, which always included coffee grounds, mayonnaise packets, cigarette butts and ashes. (This was back before smoking was banned in the break room. Hey, Dan, do you remember that mirror in the men's restroom? The one that was always mysteriously foggy no matter how many times we cleaned it?)

**We worked with three (maybe four) sackers named "Aaron" at one point. Our store had a covered Drive-Up lane outside. "Drive-up duty" was fun as long as the weather was good. Sometimes we got tips for loading people's groceries into their cars.

***We were taught to sack the non-foods separately from the foods. Do any of the cashiers at Walmart or Target do this? NO! Your deodorant and shampoo and laundry detergent, for example, should not be sacked in the same bag as your celery and strawberries. Frozen foods should be sacked together. Produce items should be sacked together. For goodness sakes, do NOT stick the bananas on top of the ice cream; it'll turn them black! When I go grocery shopping, I separate everything, just the way I want it sacked, but do you think these "modern" sackers can ever get it right? The problem is, they're all encouraged to use plastic bags now, which is a freakin' shame, because it's hard to sack anything well in a plastic bag. Everything topples over and rolls around. Sheesh. I try to bring my own reusable cloth bags when I go shopping, but if I forget, I always request paper.

All I have to say is, I was a very good grocery sacker. I didn't smash anyone's bread or break anyone's eggs. I took pride in my job.

****Dan and I were both later "promoted" to cashier. We were very competitive: Who could scan groceries the fastest? Who knew the most PLU codes (those code numbers for produce items)? Dan was faster, but I still maintain that I knew more produce codes. Kumquats, for example, are #4303 (I still remember!). I knew all the weird produce codes: rutabagas, edible flowers, broccoflower, blood oranges, rhubarb, bok choy...

I honestly enjoyed being a grocery sacker (it was way better than being a cashier) because of all the odd jobs we got to do. But the best part of that job, of course, was meeting Dan, my future husband. We've known each other for sixteen years now-half of our lives! Pssst! This is the second part of Dan's surprise Valentine's Day gift. I can't tell you the first part... (Just what you always wanted, Danny: A cheesy, crappy poem that reminds you of how skinny you were as a teenager. Well, I needed a couple of extra page views before the weekend, and I know how much you adore public displays of affection. I love you! Happy Valentine's Day! I appreciate you more than you know.)