Growing Up Mormon

When I was little, I really did not feel any different than anyone else. That, or course, is true of most little children. And like most children, the feelings of being different did not truly manifest until I graduated into that great, socializing experience called grade school. The first time I can remember being singled out for my religion was in the first grade. Our class was going to have a party, or a field trip, or something like that. Honestly, I do not remember exactly what it was, but I do remember it involved all of us bringing food and drinks. My mother decided she had better let my teacher know about dietary restrictions I observed because of our religion (my Jewish friend's parents did the same thing, by the way). My teacher mentioned something in class to me about it, and almost immediately one of the kids who sat by me spewed out a series of questions. The questions became more ridiculous as time passed, finally coming to the boy asking if I was allowed to ever drink water. Maybe there is a religion that preaches such a restriction, but I found it just a little ridiculous.

I wish I could say the bizarre questions ended in grade school, but they did not. Not to say that I mind people asking questions about my religion. Sometimes, though, I have to wonder just what some of my friends or others who knew me well (I thought) really thought of me. "Do you have other moms?" was a common one. I had one kid in middle school ask me if it was true Joseph Smith would throw a rope ladder down into heaven to let me into the "Mormon heaven."

Most people I knew were respectful in their questions, even the ridiculous ones, because they genuinely were interested in knowing more. In the seventh grade, however, I ran into a group of boys who were asking questions for quite another reason. These boys asked more searching questions, ones I was pretty sure at the time they did not formulate. I knew they all went to the same church. I also began to find out at that church the leaders actively preached against my religion.

Once, one of these boys asked me a question that really took me off balance. "What is it like growing up Mormon?" I think the question was genuine and unrehearsed. I thought for a moment about what my growing up to the point was like. I could not really come up with a good answer, so I did the only thing I could think of: I answered his question with a question. "What's it like growing up Protestant?" I replied. My friend was dumbfounded, realizing just what sort of question he asked.

Thinking back on it, neither one of us had the perspective to even begin to grasp the answer of our questions. Since that time, I have been able to gain perspective through maturity and observation of others not like me. I also have realized that I can only answer the question of what growing up Mormon was like for me, not for other Mormons.

Too often people like to stereotype groups that are difficult to understand. Mormons are one group that seems to perplex quite a few people. Because of this, I think a lot of those observing from the outside try to characterize Mormons as being thoughtless drones, who all think and do alike. Have I known Mormons who try to prove these people right? Absolutely. I have also known people from other religions, political parties, etc that give their ability to think over to the group. Despite popular belief, this is not encouraged in our religion. From Joseph Smith on, leaders of our religion have actually expressed concern over this type of spiritual laziness.

I have Mormon friends who went on missions and those who did not. I have Mormon friends who have stayed strong in the faith and others who have completely abandoned it. So what was it like for me growing up Mormon? I can say that as I grew older, the sense of being part of something "other" was something I could never completely shake. In high school, I had friends who after a while of knowing me were shocked to find out I was Mormon. I guess they expected Mormons to have a beard and straw hat. Most of them went on being the same friends as always, respecting that I believed differently on some things. A few, and I do mean very few, made the religious difference an issue. I guess it is true some people only want to surround themselves with people just like them.

Some of my best friends growing up were not Mormons. We were great friends because there was mutual respect. I did not say rude things about their beliefs and they respected mine. Did we agree on everything? No. We did not have to agree on everything.

Did growing up with strict beliefs cause undue stress for my developing self? Probably no more than the stress of knowing I could get pulled over for speeding, sent to detention for skipping class, or arrested for toilet papering someone's house.

That group of boys from middle school, by the way, taught me another important lesson. They once flat out told me they were there to save my soul, since I was Mormon and going to hell. Needless to say this upset me and I stopped really being too friendly with them. Since that time I have been careful to not say similar things to people of other faiths. One leader of my church even once spoke on judging, saying it is God's job to say where people go in the next life and not ours.

Despite the belief of some, I do not think growing up Mormon has made me into some monster or means I am completely different from the rest of society. Were there differences in my upbringing versus those of others? Yes, but I still ate Lucky Charms, watched Trans Formers, and read the comics section of the local newspaper like so many other kids.