Growing Old and Finding Love

Everyone knows that most Americans and those in other countries are living longer and healthier. There are more people living alone in their own homes as they age, although many older people end up in assisted living facilities or nursing home because of health problems, the inability to take care of themselves, or because of children who think it is best. Even so, not all older Americans have decided to give up on life. In fact, many fall in love.

Growing old does not mean that feelings or emotions stop or that sex becomes unimportant. The loss of a spouse may mute some aspects of love as the grieving process begins, but life demands going forward and eventually, the one left behind has to face living alone or finding another person to care about and to be with. Love has many meanings, which may include a sexual component and onward to the incentive of not being alone, especially as one becomes older in age. Touching, talking together, companionship, and having constant attention often far outweigh the effects of being alone and the feeling of loneliness as two people care for each other, are mindful of their partner's needs, and share intimacy.

Finding friends and friendships can be found in any place that each one of us finds it from the time we are children to the time we become grandparents. Many older Americans are finding love where they go to socialize with others. This may be a Senior Citizens center, playing bingo, trips to the mall, at religious centers, on the internet, in chatrooms, assisted living centers, and nursing homes. Sometimes, a relationship will grow into more than friendship and marriage may be the next step.

Due to financial concerns, marriage itself may be bypassed in favor of living together or living nearby to each other, but with most of their time being spent together. Many older Americans have a prenuptial agreement drawn up whereas each person's money and assets are kept separate from each other and then both contribute to the household costs if they decide to live together.

Some difficulties older citizens find comes from within their own families. Many children cannot bear to think of their aging parents as sexual beings while others worry about losing their inheritance because of the intrusion of another person, and some even feel that the remaining parent is being disloyal to the parent that has died. Education can alleviate many of these fears.

Even nursing homes and assisted living facilities are recognizing that love does not stop at age 60, 70 or even 90. As it was when they were children, those in love will find a way to be together in spite of the wishes or misconceptions of others. As long as the individuals involved are not suffering from a mental disability and are able to make their own decisions, love can grow, prosper, and give them the satisfaction of living even longer and healthier lives.

As Edith Kemp says, who married for the second time at the age of 69 to her husband Jerry, who was 76, "It is never too late to fall in love. When I realized I was in love with Jerry, it was just as exciting as when I was a teen." It is hoped that for the baby boomers, who are about to take over as the golden years begin for them, that love is as enticing and as exciting as it was for them when they were growing up.

Sources:

http://www.newsweek.com/id/52779/page/1

http://www.globalaging.org/elderrights/us/love.htm

http://www.tiaa-cref.org/administrators/pdf/admin_library/C38712.pdf