Growing Old Gracefully.....Or Not, Episode 2

You know the other day I was out driving with my 13 year old stepson. We were stopped at a stoplight when a rather attractive 40-something young lady passed in front of us in the crosswalk. For lack of a better term she was what we used to call in the old days 'stacked'. I've always been an admirer of God's work and this was definitely one of his masterpieces. As I was sitting there appreciating her molecular structure I guess I forgot what I was doing and the light changed from red to green and back to red again. Funny thing though, none of the other old geezers parked beside or behind me noticed the light had changed either. No one honked anyway.

I was eventually snapped out of my reverie by my stepson who stated: "Shame on you dad for looking at that old woman that way". I thought about what he said for a second and then I replied: "You know son, when I was your age I was attracted to girls who were 12 to 15 years old. Then when I was 18 I was attracted to girls who were 16 to about 25. When I was 21 I was attracted to girls who were 18 to 30. When I was 30 I liked girls who were 18 to 35. When I was 40 I was attracted to women who were 18 to about 50, and when I turned 50 I liked them from about 18 all the way up to 60. The way things are going it won't be long till they all look good to me". I thought I was being worldly but he just responded with: "That is Gross!" Now, I'm not really an old lecher. I was merely trying to reassure my son that he would have something positive to look forward to when he got older. What, you don't believe me? Well that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Anyway, later on when I got home I started thinking about it. As I sat there admiring my beautiful wife I couldn't help thinking how cute she was even with all those wrinkles on her. Don't get me wrong, wrinkles can be good things, (like laugh lines for example), and it seems that the longer I'm with my wife and the more wrinkled she gets the more I love her. I'm hoping that I still feel that way when she starts looking like a shar-pei. If she gets so old and wrinkled that I can't bring myself to kiss her I'll just pet her on the head and give her a scooby snack. Anyway, one of the other things about getting old is that even though I haven't lost my libido she seems to have. She thinks libido means leeb it o ver there. When I was younger she thought I was a handsome stud. Now she thinks I'm a randy old goat. She once told me that what with her arthritis and bad back she's afraid of getting stuck in the position. She used to talk dirty to me. She still does but now she says stuff like "Get off me you old bastard". But she knows that I love her. And she knows that all that stuff I've been talking about, well I was just kidding. Right honey? You know I'm just kidding right? Maybe I better not let her read this.

Read Growing Old Gracefully..... Or Not, Episode 1