Growth Vs. Change is There Really a Difference?

I awaken from a deep sleep one day and suddenly things become relatively different. My room is no longer familiar and I begin to feel the emptiness of a life I once knew. I have been running away from the past for so long that I am now overwhelmed with all the baggage of yesterday. There are stacks of pain and disappointment in my mental diary clouding my sense of judgment, while I reside in my personal comfort zone. My eyes are suddenly open to the reality that I must begin necessary transformations; as I embrace womanhood I find the experience liberating and a rude awakening into many difficult chapters of my life. As these different set of events occur, I begin to wonder about my growth and change, how they are different and often interconnected? The first step in this self examination involves stepping into the light outside of the darkness of complacency, to discover who I am and once was.

Literally speaking, growth is something that has increased and developed in a gradual beginning or coming forth attained in the process of growing. When I think of growth I think of the many physical and spiritual facets of the journey from adolescence to adulthood. As a child I was innocent in the aspect of not knowing the full consequences of my actions or being fully aware of my surroundings. As I have gotten older, I have physically grown in my appearance and I have begun to understand everything I do is reflection of me either positively or negatively. I have the courage to stand behind my convictions in delivering my best understanding of the truth. However my mother once told me, "Baby you are too honest and harsh when you speak, you must learn to say things in a more subtle manner". Simply put, "It's not what you say but how you say it". In this instance I have grown in my understanding of my interactions with others and how many disagreements are caused by miscommunication in a subject matter at hand. In the spiritual sense, I now recognize to be careful in the verbal venom I use to demean someone because I am in no position to cast the first stone of judgment.

A change is defined as to take, put, or use in the place of another or to simply make or become different. Change implies making either an essential difference often amounting to a loss of original identity or a substitution of one thing for another. When I think of change I think of the conscientious transformation of an individual attitude or way of life due to personal experiences. Growing up as only child I was the center of attention in my parent's world. I remember my family fell on hard times financially and that I could no longer get everything my heart so desired. It was difficult to accept the fact I had to change in my attitude of thinking of self before anyone else. This change is one of acceptance of humility, for in order to bring about this transformation I have had to search within the depths of my inner being to abandon selfishness.

When we grow, in contrast to merely change, we venture into new territory and include more people in our lives serving more and loving more. No "moral" or no "principle" is tacked on from the outside so change must come from within. Nothing from the past is thrown out; it's all composted and assimilated into a growing life. As I grow, I also have to change to create the balance in my life that comes with knowing that improvement must be authentic and beyond the surface. I see the good and bad about myself and I wouldn't erase anything in my life for everything is bringing me closer to the better person I need to become.

Life is beautiful and often taken for granted and if I don't appreciate every day that passes by I will miss the opportunity to maximize every moment to its fullest potential. The day I awakened from being afraid to accept my past to embrace the future was a triumph but also a very fearful moment. I discovered I was holding on to anger and resentment in my life and the only way I could release myself from it all was to learn to let go of pain by acknowledging and learning from it. Each night when I walk into my room I reflect about the knowledge of my experiences and pray for the wisdom to learn from them. Tomorrow I hope that I have grown a little bit wiser and changed to have a positive outlook on the things that will continue to challenge me daily. The future is the light that shines amidst all things that have appeared grim in my past. Overall, I have the faith that I will continue to soar above and beyond my grievances into a promising word of opportunity for growth and change.