Guidance for Raising a Biracial Child

Having and raising a child is difficult for anyone no matter what race, culture, or background. In today's current society, having a biracial child and raising them properly poses a daunting task as well as inherently a biracial child will face hindrances and roadblocks in childhood not usually faced by other children of mono racial heritage. In fact, prior to the inception of a biracial child, multiple factors and extenuating circumstances could already be at play that would be due to the initial interracial dating, subsequent interracial marriage, and now interracial birth that will soon be occurring. Because it is still considered taboo, in some cultures and mindsets in America, to have a child of mixed race, adversities such as a lack of family support, monetary support, or emotional support from outside sources could quickly arise because of their inability to accept a biracial child into their family or other factors. It is because of this that when planning to have a child who you know will ultimately be of mixed heritage, that you already know what the opinion of your family on the topic is so as to prepare accordingly. Some families may welcome the new child with open arms and care for it as if there were nothing different about him/her. Other families my outright ostracize you from the family and offer you no form of support for the newborn baby. This is why a contingency plan must already be in order, so as to appropriately prepare for the imminent birth of your biracial child.

I may not have any experience raising either a child or a child of mixed heritage, but one thing I do have a lot of experience in is being a child of mixed heritage. I have often times reflected back on my childhood and critiqued both the actions and decisions of my mother, father, and grandparents so as to decide whether or not their specific actions was advantageous to my successful development or overall detrimental to my growth as a child into a teenager and eventual adult. Because both my mother and grandparents on both sides were obviously unprepared for my birth and not experienced with caring for a biracial child, I understand that not all of their decision in retrospect were the best possible ones. Because of this constant reflections retrospective analysis, I have formulated over the years a checklist of sorts that includes different things that would enhance a biracial child's awareness of their own unique identity as well as ready them for the sometimes ignorant and cruel world we live in.

First off, as I stated earlier, it is extremely necessary for the parents of a biracial child to know where their parents stand on the oncoming blessing about to occur. Dependent upon their feelings and reaction to the idea, the set of parents should prepare accordingly for the birth of their child. The reason it is necessary to see where the child's grandparents stand is simple: you need to know whether they will A. be a part of the child's life and B. offer any assistance if absolutely necessary such as monetarily, in the form of baby sitting, etc. If the soon to be grandparents aren't accepting of the soon to be born child, then you know not to expect any financial assistance in the initial stages of infancy from the grandparents. This way, you know to save more money than you would have needed to prior to finding out where they stand. It is also necessary to find out how both sides of the family feel as well as they could be potential assets if necessary. After this has been established if the baby's name hasn't been chosen yet, this would be a good time. It is important to not lean too heavily towards one demographic or the other when naming the child because this could lead to animosity from your new relatives as well as cause problems for the child later in life as well. Something that draws from both heritages or is neutral would be the best option.

After the baby is born, if both sides of the family want to be involved in the child's life, it is important that the child spend a good amount of time with each side of the family as this will allow the child to experience both cultures without forcing upon the child either one culture or the other. Neutrality is key during childhood because it will allow the child to decide for himself/herself, how they want to identify themselves. As the child gets a couple years old, it is still very important that the child get to spend a proportionate amount of time with both sides of the family as this will provide the child with happy memories of childhood from both sides, preventing the child from viewing one culture or the other in a negative light. If this were to happen, it could possibly lead to denial of one side of the child's heritage in the future. For instance, if the child had several negative experiences when around the white side of the child's family, it could lead the child to subconsciously begin to dislike whites, feel uncomfortable around them, or not trust them. Once these feelings reach maturity in adulthood, they could have dire consequences as it could lead to the child denying their white heritage all together and only associating and relating to the black heritage.

Once the child gets to the age in which he/she starts to read children's books or have children's book read to him/her, it is imperative that you purposefully give him access to books whose central character displays a lot of outgoing behaviors and who is proud of themselves. In this day and age, there is actually a mini industry in the publishing world for children's books that relate specifically to children with mixed and multi heritages. These books will allow the child to from a very young age, understand how special they are, and that there is nothing wrong with them, no matter what anyone else says about them. It will allow them to see that there are other kids just like them as well. These kinds of things help the child develop a strong self identity and prevent the child from having to deal with the confusion that goes along with trying to find out who and what they are when the teenage years begin to present themselves. These books also help to teach the child that no race or culture is better than the other and that all people are equal in every way.

As the child progresses even more in age and begins school, it is necessary to ask them how school is going, so as to find out whether or not they are making friends, or if they are getting picked on, etc. Frequently check up on this so as to quickly nip in the bud any problems that occur. If your child does experience some form of racism from his/her peers, make sure to fully explain to them how special they are as well as teach them coping methods and rebuttals in case it ever occurs again. If at all possible, pick a school district that is racially mixed so as to allow the child to experience all forms of different cultures as well as develop socialization skills for all cultures as well. If the school is pretty diverse, this could easily eliminate any bullying or singling out of your child due to race. As their brains begin to absorb their surroundings more and more, make sure the home is filled with culturally diverse music, movies, games etc... If its' a boy, make sure there are black and white G. I. Joes, if it's a girl replace the G.I. Joes with black, white, or brown dolls instead. Make sure to incorporate through out the house, positive examples of the child's heritage. This will further support their identity when they get older and keep them from creating any stereotypical notions of other races. Although it may seem like a lot of work in the beginning, it will pay off in the end as the end result will eventually be an adult who is confident with themselves and who has a strong self identity and who holds no biases, prejudices, or stereotypical notions. The individual will be very culturally diverse and therefore open to all walks of life. It is through our younger and future generations that we will be able to stamp out racism.

As the child continues to age, it is very important that you continue to positively reinforce their unique heritage as well as their self worth. It is self worth and self identity that are two of the most vital qualities for a person of mixed heritage as it prevents the child from falling into periods of self doubt and confusion over the value in society. As they reach pubescence, you have to continue to pay close attention to them as this is the stage in which they will begin to see the majority of the pressure from the outside world to conform to either one culture or the other. You must make sure to let your child know that socializing with their peers doesn't necessarily mean relinquishing their personal identities and that because of their unique heritage, they can exist is a semi fluid state until they can consciously decide how they want to identify themselves. Biracial individuals have the unique perspective of being able to exist on different cultural levels at one time and it is this experimentation that allows them to decide which if any group they want to lean towards or associate themselves more with.

If these steps as well as others are followed with a good degree of accuracy then you will surely raise a wonderful biracial child who is completely aware of his/her unique ancestry and cultural background. Furthermore, they will be confident individuals with strong identities and a healthy amount of self worth. They will be completely ready for the world and anything it has to throw at them as well as fully aware of the ignorant mentalities that exist in our society. There is no doubt that as long as you reinforce their identities, and cultural backgrounds, they will be less likely to have racist or prejudiced ideas about people as well.