Guide for Direct Marketing Copywriters -Country Club Ad

This Country Club Direct Response Ad I wrote in MAA Bozell was my first taste of Direct Response advertising. It was like tasting blood. Responses to the ad poured in - a heady feeling. It was then that I decided to switch from general advertising to Direct Response copywriting.

I will evaluate this ad according to the Creative Evaluation criteria used by Ogilvy & Mather (where I spent 11 years).

The Brief for the Country Club Ad
The objective was to announce the launch of the Country Club in Bangalore, and invite people to join the club. A note before you read: The environment-friendly group 'Green Peace' was not even dreamed of at this time.

I will evaluate this ad according to the Creative Evaluation criteria used by Ogilvy & Mather (where I spent 11 years).

Headline:

Somewhere, sometime you've dreamed of a club
That lives up to your expectations.

And goes a little beyond them.

Body Copy:

Announcing the Country Club you've always dreamed about. It's just minutes away, nestling among the green fields of Singasandra, on the Hosur-Madras road. Take deep breaths of the fresh country air as spaces open up before you. Twenty-five acres of green peace and joy where the sun rises in a sky unmarred by buildings.

The Country Club will offer you what the most exclusive clubs do all over the world. A modern gym with sauna, tennis, cricket, swimming (our pool comes with a built-in bar), billiards, snooker, cards, even quaint old croquet and a bowling alley. There's our charming garden café with barbecue, a restaurant with a veg. and non-veg. menu, and a bar, of course.

You could spend magical weekends in our cottages. And as for company, we've got some excitement on our members' list: the 'Who's Who' in theatre, arts, sports and industry. We are as choosy about our members as you are about your club. All our 500 individual members and 1000 corporate members (two persons per institution) will be picked by us. Even the deer in our park and our collection of birds are extraordinary.

If you're the kind who never gets clubbed with the rest, fill in this coupon for further details. And book some green peace in this weary world.

Evaluating Creative

1. Is your headline promising/intriguing?

Answer: Yes it is. It promises the dream club.

2. Do you begin by talking to the reader and not about the product?

Answer: I do begin with you and even end with you.

3. Are you connecting ideas, sentences and paragraphs? Is your copy flowing? Use bridging words like And, Thus, What's more, However, Also, While, Although, Another, Then.

Answer: Yes the copy flow, but I could have used more bridge words.

4. Is your copy conversational? Use contractions like won't instead of will not.

Answer: Yes the copy is conversational starting from the 'you've' in the headline itself.

5. Do you end your body copy with a call to action in some form? This applies to general as well as direct response writing.

Answer: Yes, I ask the reader to fill in the coupon and reiterate the benefit of doing so.

6. Do you end with the idea again. Echo what you say in the headline in the end? That gives it a rounded feel.

Answer: Yes, the green peace in a weary world, does echo the headline.

7. Is there a Big Idea?

Answer: Yes. The Big Idea is to appreciate the discernment of the target audience. This is done through the headline and is repeated in the end with -"If you're the kind who never gets clubbed with the rest . . ."

The Emotional Appeal of an Ad

Desires and Emotions Ads Appeal To

According to the experts, all forms of advertising appeal to one of the following:

• Make more money
• Save money
• Save time
• Avoid effort
• Gain knowledge
• Avoid loss
• Be more successful
• Find love and keep it
• Be sexy and beautiful
• Live more comfortably
• Fear - to be prepared for the worst
• Exclusivity - to be the first
• Profit, wealth/prosperity
• Greed
• Sex
• Safety
• Guilt
• Pleasure
• Envy
• 20.Education
• Pride/ego/vanity

This ad appeals to the desire for exclusivity.

So, when you write a direct response ad, remember to evaluate it objectively before you show it to your Creative Director or the Account Executive who will sell it to your client. Then, write a creative note to support your creative. Most Account Executives, who are not creatively oriented, will need it.