Guide for Folks New to the South, Part 4

Family ties are important to Southerners. We go out of our way to find a family connection when we are talking to other Southerners. You could be introduced to somebody and the conversation will go something like this: "This is Bobby Lee. He is the son of my mother's step-uncle's daughter-in-law's beautician's neighbor. " That was the closest that they could get to making it a family connection. We may not know all our family members, but we can count on them for help if we need it. I'll give you a personal example of this: About 20 years ago I was travelling with a couple of friends and my car broke down in a small town in West Tennessee. We were hundreds of miles from home. I didn't panic. I just called my folks, told them where we were and they got busy calling around to see what family member lived in that town so I could get some help. It turns out that my mother's brother's wife's half-sister lived there so they called her. She was a sweetie and very generous. While her mechanic was working on my car, she gave me the keys to her brand new car so my friends and I could explore the town. Keep in mind; I never met her before that day. Shoot, I had never even heard of her, but she helped us. That's what Southerners do for family.

It has come to my attention that not all of you understand what we mean when we ask you if you want a coke. Those of you who aren't from around here call a coke, a pop or soda. It doesn't matter what the brand name is or if it is colored or clear, all of them are called cokes. So when a Southerner asks for you for a coke, be sure to ask which kind. If you are a tea drinker, just know here in the South tea means cold sweet tea poured into a glass of ice. By sweet I mean lots and lots of sugar. Whatever you are thinking is a lot of sugar, double it then you might come close. Some of the older generation and folks from the country will ask for sweet milk. Don't let it throw you. They are just making sure you don't serve them buttermilk. When you order mashed potatoes, if you don't want gravy you better say so, because it isn't mashed potatoes if it isn't smothered in brown gravy. Actually a lot of Southern comfort food comes smothered in gravy; you might want to ask before you commit yourself. If a Southern offers you greens for supper it could be collards, turnip greens, mustard greens, spinach, or polk salad. If your hosts tell you they have fixed a mess of greens - don't panic they didn't dirty up the greens. All a mess of greens means is there is more than enough for everyone to have big helpings and go back for seconds.

If you plan on coming to the South you should be warned that we have a favorite joke to ask if you are from the North. It goes something like this "Do you know the difference, but a Yankee and a damn Yankee?" The answer is always "A damn Yankee is a Yankee, who came down South and stayed."