Guide to Helping a Teen Cope with the Death of a Parent

Death happens in everyone's lives. It is a hard thing to handle no matter how old you are. A couple of years ago when my brother-in-law passed away, he left behind four children. The oldest was fifteen and took the death very hard. He stayed with us for a few days while his mom was planning the funeral. Teens will almost always take the death of a parent very hard. There are many things that you can do to help a teen cope with the death of a parent.

When the death first happened the mother brought the kids to the hospital to say their goodbyes. They were allowed to see their dad at the hospital. The viewing does help the grieving process. It makes them realize the death is real. They can hold the parents hand and they can even tell them that they love them or give them a final kiss or hug goodbye. When these kids were brought into the room the oldest teen sat in a chair next to the bed and held his father's hand. The two girls stood by me, they were 12 and 14. As they stood by me they wanted to be held and comforted. One leaned on my shoulder, the other turned to face me and I held them both and rubbed there back. This not only comforted them, but it also showed them that they were not alone. The youngest boy came in the room and someone took him outside, he was only 7.

The kids were allowed to stay with whomever they wanted to for the first week after the death. It helped them cope because they had a hard time being in the house that they were living in. One thing that helped these kids cope was talking about stories of their father. The older kids remembered so many good times. Remembering the good times helped the grieving process.

Even after the funeral the three oldest kids had a hard time. They are still not over the death and never will be. The oldest boy got into a little trouble, and I knew he was just trying to cope with the pain. He was searching for something to help him feel better. The oldest girl confided in me and told me that one of the things she does to cope is lie in bed at night and talk to her dad. She said that her mom told her he was still listening.With any death, teens will take it hard, but the worst death is the death of a parent. You should always let them grieve in their own way. No way is right or wrong. They should be allowed to view the body and say their goodbyes. This can be done in private viewing or at the funeral. They should be allowed time to heal. They should also be allowed to go to counseling if they feel it is right. Let them decide who and when they want to talk to.