Guide to Online Dating - Photos

Photos

The single most important thing you can do to attract attention to your profile is to add your photos. Most people want to see the person they think they may be interested in. Profiles without pictures often don't get viewed at all. When I join a new site I spend my time looking only at profiles that have pictures. I may consider talking to someone who doesn't have a picture if they contact me first but only if they are willing to share a picture soon after.

It is spooky to talk to a faceless stranger and makes you feel they are trying to hide something from you. If someone contacts you without a photo and sounds interesting, then simply email him back and ask, "Do you have a photo? Thanks". I got the following reply from someone the other day when asking for a photo after he expressed interest through an email:

[jmr2340: Since photo was the first thing out of your mouth then you are shallow and I don't want to talk to you.]

He then proceeded to block me from contacting him, which was fine by me. A gentleman will never respond rudely to a request for a photo. If he plans to online date and is looking at your photo, he should have no problem with returning one to you. His lack of willingness to do so does not mean you are shallow, it means he has something to hide! If he does not respond next with a photo then forget him and move on.

Your photo must absolutely be up to date. When I put up my old photo, I really thought I hadn't changed that much. Denial isn't bliss in this case! Trust me, you too have changed. Post only current photos; they should be less than six months old.

My first photo included two mistakes. It was nine years old and it also included an arm of an unknown man. Leave out pictures with other men or their arms. I notice that some men will have pictures of themselves and their daughters in the pictures. Any pictures with people of the opposite sex in them should be explained in the profile by saying something such as "the beautiful girl in the picture is my daughter" or "the handsome man is my son".

Include a close-up as well as a full body shot. Use the close-up photo to display as your primary photo. It gives the viewer a chance to get a good look at your eyes and smile! Use your full body shot as a secondary photo. Without it men will think you are trying to hide your body size.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. ~ Margaret Wolfe Hungerford

Men are basically visual creatures. When scanning profiles they either are attracted to your looks initially or not. Thankfully, beauty is a matter of taste! What doesn't appeal to one man may and does very well appeal to another.

Good eye contact and a great smile go a long way. You want people to be able to see your eyes. Do not wear sunglasses. Have your photos taken with you looking directly into the camera. Imagine that you are making eye contact with the world! Betty, a coworker recently asked me to review her profile and her pictures. In all of her photos she was looking away from the camera. You couldn't see her eyes directly. She has since gotten new photos and she smiles directly into the camera. These are much better!

Although I personally think that wearing something provocative might give a man the wrong impression, my research does not back that up. In scanning dating forums, I read conflicting views on the provocative poses. Some men say it doesn't influence their decision in a potential date. Other men say the pictures attract them to read the profile while some state the pictures keep them from reading the profile. Many of the women who are not posting provocative pictures for the most part seem to think they send the wrong message; while those posting more provocative poses don't see a problem with it. Whether you post provocative poses is entirely up to you.

Beware also of posting glamour shots. You want to actually look as good or better in person when you meet your dates...not like some dolled up movie star (unless of course that's your normal look).

Don't include seven photos of the same shot with the same outfit on. No need to be repetitious and it can appear vain if you have too many shots of yourself.

When posting photos it is acceptable to include other photos of activities or places you've been. Try to tie your photos in to some of your information you share. On the side topic entitled Favorite Hot Spots on Match.com at one time I had listed:

[Favorite travel spot would be Italy (the architecture is amazing), Disney World, swimming with the dolphins at Discovery Cove, Sea World, trips to the "Church of the Frescoes" at Glen Dale Springs, and the Blue Ridge Parkway when it snows]

Then under my photo section I had included a photo from each of these locations. Some people choose to add photos of themselves doing a hobby they love or with their pet. If in doubt what photos to add, the one acceptable close-up and one full body shot are all you really need.

Other Online Dating Guides:
Creating a Good Username
Creating a Good Headline
Creating A Good Profile