Guide to Relationships: The Dangers of Desperation

There are those that enjoy being single. Most of us, however, want to be in a romantic relationship, to have someone to call our own. When we have waited quite a while and that person still hasn't come along, it's tempting to lose patience and adopt a "desperate times call for desperate measures" mentality. When it comes to establishing quality relationships, though, becoming desperate and impatient is never a good idea.

Many people have been deeply hurt because they have attempted to overcome their singleness through any means necessary. Let's face it, if you really want to find a boyfriend of girlfriend, nothing will stop you. However, compromises will usually have to be made. Sometimes those compromises may actually be a positive thing; shy people may expand their personal boundaries and take more risks to find a relationship, or sedentary people might become more active in order to meet new people.

More often than not, though, individuals compromise important values when they become desperate for a relationship. Many people decide that the standards they have for a potential romantic partner are just too high, and if they ever want to find love, they will have to abandon them. This can lead to serious mistakes down the road. A person may get involved with someone who has drastically different values, beliefs, or personality traits, and eventually may find the other person to be completely incompatible with them.

Another problem with desperate dating is that the anxious individual may scare off good potential partners. If someone senses that their date is way too eager to please and overly willing to commit, they will probably react in one of two ways. They will either turn tail and run, or if they have malicious intents, they will try to take advantage of the situation and use the desperate person for their own gain. Either result is equally sad, because it didn't have to turn out that way.

So what is "going too far" in the search for love? Quite simply, if one falls in love with the idea of romance but forgets to love themselves, they have gone too far. Before someone is ready for a real relationship, they have to know who they are, accept that, and look for someone who can love them right where they are. It's a matter of self-respect. Changing yourself or your values to find an "easier" match will only backfire in the long run. If someone wants to find true love, they should remember that it may not come easily, and most importantly, it's worth waiting for.