Guide to Writing a Condolence Message

Stephanie Mojica
Many people want an example in writing a condolence message to a family member, friend, or business associate that has lost a loved one. There are many ways to express sympathy when someone dies, and most do not require much time, original thought, or money.

The most heartfelt method in writing a condolence message is to send a letter. You can write an expression of sympathy by using this format as follows:

1) Recognize the loss and also mention the name of the person who passed on.

2) Writing a condolence message well requires mentioning you are sorry about the tragedy without dwelling on what happened. Short, but sweet is a good rule of thumb when expressing sympathy in writing.

3) If you knew the deceased person, mention a good quality he or she had and also consider noting a favored memory.

4) When writing a condolence message about someone you did not know, you can just merely write that he or she will be missed.

5) Mention anything you can and will do to help, such as bring a meal by the house.

6) Be sure to note that you are keeping your friend, family member, or business associate and their loved ones in your thoughts and prayers.

7) Always end with a closing and personal signature.

If you are unable to get into writing a condolence message by letter, you could also purchase a sympathy card and write a very brief note inside it. Whenever expressing any kind of sympathy, even if you have bought a card, handwrite any messages that come from you.

Great ways you can offer help to a grieving family is funeral expense assistance, meal preparation, and helping send thank you notes to people who helped or gave gifts. But perhaps even more valuable then providing physical help or even writing a condolence message is to simply offer to listen to your friend, family member, or business associate. Many people are unsure how to help someone who is grieving, and as a result those left behind are often left to deal with their own emotions alone.

You can change this by offering to listen. If your friend refuses, he or she may not be ready to talk about the loss but will never forget that you did so much more during their hard time than simply writing a condolence message and moving on.

Published by Stephanie Mojica

I have published over 4,600 articles and am the author of "How One Writer Shifted from Settling for $12 an Hour to Prospering at Over $90 an Hour." I have also been a staff writer for papers like The Virgini...  View profile

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  • Darlene Levenson11/19/2009

    What a wonderful guide this is, because you offer such great suggestions. I always buy cards and write in a personal message, but now I'm going to a funeral this weekend and I was truly at a loss what to say. I thought back to what sympathy cards helped me the most when I received them at times of great loss, but those words don't fit on this occasion. Your article jogged my brain, and I'm so appreciative for that. And it never dawned on me to mention the lost one's name, but you're so right on the mark there. Thanks so much!

  • Dan Reveal5/11/2009

    This is a very practical article. I like the way you write. Thanks.

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