Guidelines to Dating Older Men

Many teenage girls find it ideal to date older guys, and they do so for a variety of reasons. For one thing, they may have a car, more money, and since females mature faster than males, the young women see it as appropriate to date older as they are more on their maturity level. On some occasions, this may make a great dating couple. On others, it may cause some conflicts. To avoid the possible conflicts, I have constructed a list of basic guidelines to follow in the occasion that the age difference is more than just a few years.

1. Be sure that your age range is reasonable. What is reasonable? You're in high school and he's in college. What's not so reasonable? You're in high school and he's out of college. With some exceptions, in many cases there is a significant difference in maturity levels and overall phases in life. Girls in high school have different priorities than men out of college, and men that age also have different expectations.

2. It is never a good thing to lie about your age. Be sure he knows how old you are so he can make an informed decision about dating you. Anyway, why you want to start off any kind of relationship with a lie? You want to know his real age too, right?

3. Make sure you measure your motives as well as his. Ask yourself why you want to date him. If it's solely because he's older and it'll freak out your parents, or to impress your friends that he can buy beer legally, your motives are way out of line. Also, find out why he wants to date you. Ask him straight up and analyze his reaction. If you suspect it's just because you're younger and he thinks he can take advantage of you in any way, then it's time to walk away.

4. Think about how things will be in the long term. You're into him right now, but ask yourself: Will you freak out if he goes off someplace for Spring break and you can't go? What about if he takes a job out of state, how would you feel?

5. Make sure you set boundaries. Dating and older guy may put you in some situations you might not encounter with guys your age. Let him know exactly what your limits are, everything from your curfew to your sexual boundaries, and don't allow him to persuade you. If he does, that's a sign that he doesn't respect you. He should not want you to do anything you don't want to.

Having all that said, I believe that many age gapped relationships can work out successfully. In a way, it can be said true that "age is nothing but a number" but it can mean much more than just a number if there is too much of a difference in maturity. Consider the above ideas to help you determine if your relationship has a good chance of working out.