Guidelines for the New Military Spouse

Becoming a military spouse can be a wonderful, yet anxiety-inducing, experience. Being a spouse of a member of the military requires its own set of guidelines that largely differ from the civilian worlds' spouses. While you and your spouse do have relatively easy access to great benefits, there are many things to do before you get comfortable in your new military lifestyle.

Find out where you're going to be moving to, and whether or not you can get on base housing or off base housing. If you live off base, your spouse will receive extra money known as BAH, which ranges from state to state. If you live on base, your utilities will be paid, and you will not receive BAH. If you are interested, apply for government housing by putting your name on the waiting list for on base housing. If you are choosing the other route, find out what living areas in your city are recommended and what areas are on the off-base list for housing. Do research online and spend a day or two looking at apartments and planning your move. While you're doing this, have your spouse visit his Finance office on post to update his pay status. This action will increase both his/her housing allowance (if you live off post), and his/her base pay. Familiarize yourself with his/her LES (Leave and Earnings Statement). The LES tells you how much allowances, pay, and leave (vacation) time your spouse has.

When you have a chance, begin learning the military acronyms. You'll be hearing things such as BDU's, AAFES, USO, and ACU. BDU's are Battle Dress Uniforms which the Air Force uses to refer to their camouflage uniform. ACU's are the Army's version of the uniform, and it stands for Army Combat Uniform. AAFES is the Army and Air Force Exchange service, which is a retail store for military personnel and their familes. USO is the United Service Organization, which hosts trips to different places when you're stationed overseas for free or a minimal price. There's a whole list of these acronyms. Once you are familiar with them, your spouse won't seem like he's talking a different language!

The military advises you to change your last name to your married name as soon as possible. Update you social security number. Obtain at least three copies of your marriage certificate. Sometimes you may need them to mail as proof of your new marriage, and it's a hassle to try and find a photocopy at the last minute when some important papers are due.

Also, update your driver's license with your new married name. Determine at this time whether or not you should change your state and federal income tax status to reflect your marital status. The legal office or Voluntary Income Tax Assistance program (VITA) on base can assist you in these dealings.

It's easier to have you and your spouse share one account in the case that your spouse becomes deployed. Update credit cards, insurance policies, and bank accounts. If any of you have a will, update it, and have a power of attorney drawn up. A power of attorney is especially important because if your spouse does get deployed. With the power of attorney you can act under his/her name to sign a loan to buy a car or to do other important things while your loved one is away. The base's legal office will help you establish a POA. (Power of Attorney).

Something that most couples forget to do is changing their names and addresses with the post office. The post office only delivers mail for up to six months in the last known address, so before your mail gets lost, update your mailing information. Have your sponsor (your spouse) arrange a day when everyone can get military ID cards. If you have children over 10, they too need ID cards. You military ID card will open the doors for your family and enable you to enter the military bases, shop at the Commissaries (food markets) and Exchanges (malls). You will need your marriage license, birth certificate, photo identification, and the Department of Defense Form 1172 (application form) to apply for an ID card.

To get on base, you have to register your car and obtain window sticker. To obtain this, you will need proof of insurance, your driver's license, and your car's Department of Motor Vehicles registration. You can do this through the Provost Marshal or Military Police.

Your spouse will need to enroll you and any children in DEERS (Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System) as one of the first things you do as a military couple. All military members and their dependents have to be enrolled in DEERS to receive benefits. Your spouse can have this done in the Uniformed Services Personnel Office. You'll need your driver's license, a copy of your marriage certificate, and birth certificates for everyone who is to be enrolled.

At this time, your spouse can choose to add you to their life insurance. Don't forget to update the emergency date sheet. This can also be done through DEERS.

It's important to register with Tricare as well. You can do this over the phone, online, or at the hospital on post... but again, you'll need a copy of your marriage license. Tricare is going to be your military health insurance. There are three kinds of Tricare: Prime, Standard, and Extra. Tricare Prime is where patients sign on with a primary care manager and receive medical care from a list of authorized health care providers. This is the least expensive of the three plans. It is also the only one requiring enrollment. Tricare Standard is when patients can see health care providers of their choice. This is the most expensive of the three options. At Tricare Extra, Patience may see any health care provider in the Tricare contractor network.

When you need medical assistance of any kind, the military hospital on base is there for you. It can also be called the Military Treatment Facility. (MTF). Care is given on a priority basis. Active Duty personnel are first, and then Active Duty family members enrolled in Tricare Prime. Retirees follow, and then survivors and the family members enrolled in Tricare Prime. Active Duty family member not enrolled in Tricare care Prime are next, as well as retirees, survivors, and their family members also not enrolled in Tricare Prime. Non-enrolled people who are eligible for military health care may be seen at military hospitals and clinics on a space available basis.

The dental coverage that is recommended while in the military is United Concordia. When signing up for United Concordia, remember that when you see CONUS, it means that they are referring to the United States. OCONUS means outside of the United States. So if you're overseas in Germany, the United Kingdom, or Japan, you're OCONUS. United Concordia offers dental coverage for a monthly fee, which is usually about ten dollars a month.

You are going to be filling out a LOT of paperwork when your spouse isn't around. Something important to remember while you're filling out the paperwork is that when they ask for your sponsor, they are referring to your spouse...the uniformed service member. You'll be asked for your sponsor's social security number more times than you'd like to be asked, but keep that number memorized and committed to memory.

There are a number of base services available to the families of a military spouse. One of the most important places you have to familiarize yourself with is the family center. They can help you with employment opportunities, financial education, personal skill-building classes, deployment assistance, volunteer opportunities, outplacement assistance when your service member is no longer part of the Service, and assistance in emergency situation. These services are free. On military bases, there are gymnasiums you can frequent, movie theaters, bowling alleys, and church services.

The exchange and commissary are wonderful benefits that will always be at your fingertips as long as you're an authorized military ID card holder. The exchange is a retail store that offers goods which are tax free and have competitive prices. The commissaries are grocery stores which are operated as a benefit to Active Duty service members, Guard and Reserve members, retirees, and their families.

In case you are ever in need of legal aid, most installations have an office where you can obtain free legal advice and services. If you have children, child care is available. Military child care centers are tax-subsidized and are usually less expensive than private child care. The fees are based on family household income. Another option in which to enroll your children in is Head Start. This program caters to young children and helps enhance their skills that are needed to do well in school in the future. Head Start refers to programs geared for children 3-5 years of age. Early Head Start refers to programs geared for children 0-3 years of age.

Hopefully these suggestions are useful to you as a new military spouse. Making the transition from the civilian life to the military life can be a difficult process, but with these tips, the transition should be easier and relatively seamless. Good luck adjusting to your new lifestyle, and enjoy the ride.