Guns Don't Kill People, Doctors Kill People!

As I listen to the statistics that are being quoted throughout this election season, I am reminded of my beloved Statistics 363 class which I took in college. It was taught by Mrs. Lawrence who entered class on the first day wearing ugly black comfortable shoes, a black mid calf wool skirt, a stiff white shirt with a blue cardigan sweater, and a GINORMOUS iron cross that looked like it weighed at least 10 or 15 pounds.

She introduced herself by saying, "My name is Mrs. Lawrence. I have three loves in my life - Jesus, statistics, and my husband, in that order. I do not like to teach. That is why I wrote the book that you will be using this term. If you can't keep up with the class schedule by reading the text, please don't think that I am going to have any magic formula to proffer. I will not, and you will fail. I already know exactly how many of you are going to fail. If you are one of the failures, please don't waste my time or yours trying to negotiate a position in this class, for it goes against the natural order of things in much the same way as the teachings of that blasphemer Darwin, and I'll not allow you to blaspheme."

I had the option of taking the class in a tutorial manner which meant that I could finish the class as fast as I could finish 13 tests, one of which was given at the end of each week if you took the class in the normal way. I finished the class with an "A" in 6 weeks with my buddy Alan Saunders. The two most important things I learned were how to solve equations that would yield standard deviations, and the principle that if you study while under the influence, you should take the test in the same frame of mind. I guess the reason for the second principle is not so much because it will help you to do better on the test, but because it will help you not to plunge into a deep state of depression when you don't.

Anyway, here are a few statistics that you might not be aware of involving guns and doctors. I thought you might get a kick out of them.

(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171 .

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services.

Now think about this:

Guns:

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million...)
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188

Statistics courtesy of the FBI

Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

Thus, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN,
BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS A DOCTOR.

Alert your friends and family to this alarming threat.

We must ban the doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!