Guys' Guide to Getting Married

Are any of you guys out there getting married? Well, I am. I've learned that there are very few things you have to do, as a guy, to plan a wedding. However, just because you only have four or five things that need to get done, that doesn't mean that those are the only things you should worry about.

Most girls start planning their wedding with the onset of their first crush on that cute boy in first grade. They know what colors the wedding will be be, what time of year, if not what month. They know who will be their maid of honor and their bridesmaids, even if the list changes daily or weekly. Their wedding is going to be perfect.

As a guy, your job is to help facilitate that perfect wedding. Know your role. Are you expected to give serious input on flowers, food, date, time, colors and the other endless choices that will be made, or are you simply expected to agree with the answers your fiance makes? If given a choice to the extent of your involvement, I suggest merely trying to stay informed. Either way, your first job is to be supportive. Do you really care what colors the dresses are, or what kind of flowers you use. Probably not. Let her do her thing. She will probably show you lots of pictures. Make sure you look at them because sometimes quizzes pop up unannounced. "Do you like this dress or the last one, better?" Always have an answer, and be prepared to back it up with a reason. Mostly, she just wants to feel like you share a vested interest in this venture that will join you for the rest of your lives.

Next, make sure you know what you have to do. You have to pick out tuxedos. This is actually rather fun. There are so many choices and it's really all about making yourself, and your boys, look as good as you can. There are some very classy penguin suits on the market these days. Take this opportunity to pimp yourself out for the big day. The best part about this, is that you can do all this from a computer. Once you have decided on the style of your tux, it's time start with colors. Your fiance will probably want some input on this. Will you match the vests and maybe the ties with her dresses? What are you going to wear to stand out? Will you match or clash with her dress? This is your biggest investment in responsibility for the wedding. You have to make sure all your guys get fitted, try on their suits, and pick up their stuff on time.

You will also be responsible for getting a guest list for your family and friends. This should be done as early as possible. Do what you can to help keep her stress level down. Make sure you talk to your parents about who on your list is must be invited and who can be left off if trimming is necessary. The first draft of the guest list is easy to get done, and will help tremendously. Make sure you remain flexible.

Once your main obligations are taken care of, offer to help with something. See if there is an area of the planning that is not going smoothly or if phone calls need to be made. Lots of pricing goes into planning a wedding. Caterers, halls, florists, bakeries, photographers and DJs will all have to be contacted. You must find out availability, price, time constraints, and so much more. Ask for a list of questions to ask and go to town. The research part is mostly boring but more important and she will appreciate the help.

Another, traditional responsibility of the groom or the groom's side is the rehearsal dinner. Talk to your parents and see how they feel about this subject. If they expect this responsibility, help them start planning the dinner which gives your bride-to-be one less issue to worry about. Although, my advice would be to check with her about expectations for the dinner so that she is not disappointed.

I would suggest one last area where you could offer your help. Decorating the hall is usually a time sensitive matter. Many times, you won't be allowed into the hall until the morning of the wedding. If you're doing your own decorating, offer to round up a bunch of your guys to help. It will take you much less time to get ready than the girls and a few strong arms are usually more than welcome. Offer your services to pick up large objects and place them where you are told. This will also be greatly appreciated.

So be supportive, meet deadlines, know your responsibilities and offer take on some mindless tasks to lessen her load and your help and participation will be noticed, effective, and most appreciated. My last advice is this; do everything you can to make that one day perfect because she already agreed to thank you for it for the rest of your life.