Hair, Health and Fashion: Would You Date Yourself?

Take off all of your clothes. Walk to the nearest mirror, and take a good long look at what you see. Are you pleased with your body? Now put on your favorite outfit and shoes. Go back to the mirror. Are you pleased with what you see now? Now put on your common around-the-house clothes and step back in the mirror a third time. Are you content with how you look?

A person's worst critic is usually themselves. She may know she's having a bad hair day long before another person can glance up at her hair. He may know his shirt button is undone because of the gut he's acquired from drinking beer all day. She may have gained a few pounds and her jeans are a little too tight. He may be tired of his boxers riding up his leg.

Of course personalities are what keep a relationship going, but physical appearance is the first thing people judge you on-especially in a romantic encounter. Take a long look at yourself and ask yourself a question: "Would I date me?" If you wouldn't, start re-evaluating what it is about yourself that makes you not up to par.

Owning Your Jeans or Pants: If your jeans don't fit correctly, stop wearing them or fix the issue. If you know when you sit down your jeans poke out in the waist area, go to a seamstress and get the jeans taken in to fit your waist. If it's a matter of your jeans being too tight, stop obsessing over how they used to fit and buy new ones that do to make sure they compliment your frame. Donate clothes to charities that you do not feel comfortable wearing or pass the clothes on to relatives. Never wear something you don't feel at ease with because you'll sound the alarm to others that this is not the outfit for you especially if you're tugging and re-adjusting it all day.

Revealing Your Face: While there are women who prefer to put on someone else's face before they goes out, sooner or later that guy has got to see them with their natural faces and bodies. If you're one of those women, you're setting yourself up for downfall by packing on mascara, eye shadow, blush, foundation, lipstick, lip liner, color contacts and a weave. Sooner or later you're going to have to take all that out, and he'll see your real face. Some would argue that it's the "inside that counts" but if your face is lying, what does that say about your personality? If you just have to wear make-up, consider wearing natural shades of makeup that compliment your face but still make you look like you.

Loving Your Hair: I've never worn weave in my life. However, some women wear artificial hair or other people's human hair to protect their own hair during winter in cold climate locations like Chicago, to try out different hairstyles without damaging their hair or because they work in a profession that will not accept or is not equipped to deal with the real hair on their heads. Are you one of those women? You are entitled to wear whatever hairstyle you like as long as it makes you comfortable, but consider trying out hairstyles with your own hair. You may not look like the next R&B singer or fashion model, but no matter what hair magazine is on the stands, there are hairstyles for your length and tips to keep it intact. Actresses like Halle Berry, Rihanna and Nia Long looked just as beautiful with short hair as they do with long hair, and you can too. And if you're having a bad hair day, glam it up by wearing a pretty hat, headband, clips or rock a ponytail to compliment your hair.

Accepting Your Weight: Although I'm opposed to cosmetic surgery of any kind, some choose to alter their bodies to make themselves more attractive. However, that's an expensive habit to start and must consistently be paid for upkeep. Consider losing weight the old fashioned way-go to a gym, eat healthier, hire a personal trainer or get involved with a sport. There are some men who would prefer breasts over big butts and vice versa, and what if the guy who likes you ends up being more of a fan of something you don't have? You've got the Double D fake breasts but a flat butt or a big behind and a boy chest. There are chest exercises that a person can do to improve their bust size, but for the most part if you were born with it, work with it. If you have big feet, find the best looking heels or dress shoes that compliment your stompers instead of letting your heel spill out the back of your stilettos.

There are always going to be people more attractive than you. That's just a fact. All the surgery, make-up, weight loss, implants and clothes in the world won't change that. But you have to start from the inside out in order to improve yourself. Some people feel they need to change their outer appearance to be more comfortable with their inner self, but then those same people still carry the same insecurities. Some people feel like they're the hottest thing walking but have the ugliest personality. Find a happy medium.

When you are naked, stand in front of a mirror and ask, "Would I have sex with me?" If the answer is yes, then anybody who's intimate with you would be lucky to share your bed. If the answer is no, find out what it is that you want to change and decide how you're going to go about doing it. I strongly encourage natural sports and fitness centers first. And if you're nervous about working out in front of slim people, buy workout tapes at home. Or, maybe it's something as simple as buying the right lingerie and perfume while doing away with the Granny panties.

When you are fully dressed, stand in front of a mirror and ask, "Would I approach myself at a club, restaurant or shopping center?" If your whole outfit and hair look atrocious to even you, change. When a person is dressed for success or confident in her attire (even if it's yoga pants and a T-shirt), it makes others take notice. If your answer is yes, don't knock anybody down with the door while you go off to conquer the world.

Additional Notes: This was originally published by the Chicago Relationships Examiner.